


Astronomia Nova

by sreka



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Architect Sirius Black, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Child Abuse, Christmas Time, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, Librarian Remus Lupin, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Meet Ugly?, Meet-Cute, Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, POV Sirius Black, POV Third Person Limited, Raising Harry Potter, Sirius Black Raises Harry Potter, Triggers, Tropes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28442610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sreka/pseuds/sreka
Summary: Sirius Black is almost thirty, almost always alone, and almost always stressed out. For the past four and a half years he's been raising his late best friends' son, just trying to keep himself afloat. But his exhausting life of school drop-offs and staff meetings is interrupted when he runs into a gorgeous librarian - literally - destroying a priceless book in the process. As the men continue to meet - by chance or by design - they become more drawn to one another. Soon Sirius will have to make a choice: risk throwing a wrench into his already-chaotic life and threaten the stability he's work so hard to create for Harry, or risk losing the exquisite man who's slowly but surely captured his heart.
Relationships: Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 81
Kudos: 176





	1. Chapter 1

**Monday, 4:30pm**

“Okay, everyone!”

The young woman at the front of the room clapped her hands enthusiastically, calling the children to attention. 

“Are we ready for storytime!?”

Sirius smiled at the kids’ loud cheers, which were quickly muffled as he pulled the door to the meeting room shut behind him. He turned back to face the door and peered through the long, thin window, his eyes quickly finding the unruly head of hair that belonged to Harry. 

The knot in his chest loosened slightly as he watched the boy mirror the librarian’s movements; she threw her arms up and down in an exaggerated song and dance that was designed to exhaust some of the children’s endless energy before settling them down for a story.

Sirius plopped himself down on the scuffed tile floor in the hallway, stretching his long legs out in front of him in the deserted hallway. His suit would need a good dry cleaner, going by the state of the floor, but there were no chairs in the narrow hallway. Every other parent had simply signed their child in and went back downstairs to the main portion of the library to spend their time browsing the books, visiting the little cafe, or helping their older children with homework. 

When Sirius had first seen an advertisement for storytimes at his local library, the color flyer had indicated that parents were welcome to stay in the room for the Tuesday and Thursday classes. Later he had discovered the flyer was for a toddler class and, after one Tuesday night meltdown where poor Harry was turned away at the door, Sirius had enrolled his godson in the correct class: a five- and six-year old story and craft time that took place on a Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Parents were politely discouraged from attending the hour and a half long program - not that that had stopped Sirius the first week. 

But during their bedtime routine the previous night, Sirius had absentmindedly asked Harry if he was excited for a new week of storytimes with Miss Marlene. Harry, who had quickly noticed none of the other adults stayed in the room, very solemnly announced that he was too old to have his dad stay with him this week.

Sirius had been taken aback, both by the declaration of maturity and the paternal moniker. Even after nearly five years, every once in a while hearing Harry call him dad caught Sirius off-guard. He had swallowed the lump in his throat, laughed at a bit, and pressed a goodnight kiss to Harry’s fluffy mess of hair. 

Harry’s words echoing in his head, it had taken him hours to fall asleep. Walking into the library today, he had promised himself he would hover a little less. But he was exhausted and cranky - and it was only the second week of the program - so he figured he shouldn’t be too hard on himself. It would be easier to just shut down and scroll on his phone for ninety minutes than try to occupy himself downstairs, where he was sure to spend the entire time worrying over Harry.

He sighed, opening up his email and scrolling through the endless messages that had poured in since he left the office. He was tapping a furious reply to one of his colleagues when a quiet voice interrupted him. 

“Excuse me, would you….?” 

Sirius looked up. A tawny-haired man pushing a book cart was standing a few feet in front of his outstretched legs, obviously waiting to pass down the hallway. A  _ very pretty tawny-haired man _ , his brain supplied unhelpfully. He stared at the man. The man stared back, then raised an eyebrow, looking perplexed by Sirius’s lack of action.

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” Sirius muttered. He bent his knees up and tucked them towards his chest. 

The man nodded in thanks and rolled past him, unlocking a door to Sirius’s left with a swipe of his employee ID. The door clicked shut behind him and he was alone once again. 

_ As per my previous email _ , Sirius had begun. But it was no use. Only five minutes had passed and he was too distracted to try and get any work done. He deleted the email and stood up, stretching. He dusted his trousers off and glanced into the meeting room once again. The kids were all listening to the librarian with rapt attention. 

He wandered down the hallway, peering into the two other meeting rooms that were on the same side of the hallway as Harry’s storytime room. The lights were off but it was apparent the rooms were for children’s programs. The walls between the doorways held bulletin boards covered with paper crafts and photographs of smiling kids. 

The last door on the right side of the hallway was marked Staff Only. There was a restroom and a water fountain at the end of the hallway. Sirius turned and walked slowly back up the hallway, this time surveying the doors on the left side. 

The opposite side of the hall was evidently not part of the children’s department. The walls were bare and there were only two doors - one marked staff only and one set of glass double doors. A sign above them told Sirius it was the “Rare Books Reading Room.” 

Curious, Sirius tried the handle. The door was unlocked. He walked down a quiet hallway into refined look space. There were five rows of desks, each adorned with a green reading lamp. There were no books around, which surprised Sirius, but there were display cases lining the walls. He wandered towards one when a voice stopped him. 

“May I help you?” A severe voice asked. 

He jumped a bit, and turned to see an older woman perched behind a large wooden desk. She had fixed him with a searing glare.

“Oh, sorry. No. I was just looking around.” 

“Well, we close in twenty minutes,” she said, eyeing him suspiciously. 

“Oh, sorry. I’ll uh...”

He gestured towards the door behind him awkwardly and walked quickly back towards the hallway. 

As he exited the reading room, the staff door to the side opened and the tawny-haired man stepped out again, still pushing a cart. He stepped to the side of the hallway and made room for Sirius to get around him. Sirius, for his part, did not sit down and obstruct the man’s path again. He just made his way back to the story time meeting room and stared through the little window, watching Harry laugh.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Wednesday, 4:35pm**

“Hurry  _ up _ !” Harry called behind him dramatically, “We’re  _ late _ !”

Harry was already in front of the meeting room door by the time Sirius crested the top of the staircase. He jogged down the length of the hallway, clutching Harry’s jacket and school bag along with his own work bag and travel mug. 

“Okay, alright,” Sirius said, leaning against the wall to catch his breath, “go on in.” 

“You have to sign me in.” 

“I think I can just wave. Miss Marlene won’t mind. I’ll sign for you at the end, okay?” 

Harry gave him a skeptical look. 

“But the rules say-”

‘Okay, okay,” Sirius said breathlessly, “I’m right behind you.”

He dropped their bags on the floor and bent down to set Harry’s coat and his mug next to them. Harry had pushed open the door and made his way to an empty carpet square at the back of the room. He looked back at Sirius and held up a hand and mimed writing a signature, expression severe. 

“Hurry up!” he mouthed. 

Sirius tried to suppress a grin, then gave a little wave to the librarian and her volunteer, who both nodded back in greeting without losing their stride. He scrawled his signature on the sign-in sheet and glanced back at Harry, giving him a thumbs up.

Harry rolled his eyes, but smiled. He settled into his carpet square cross-legged, staring avidly at Miss Marlene, who had begun reading from an oversize cardboard book. As the librarian turned the page to show an enormous illustration of a castle, complete with dragon and moat, Harry shimmied a bit in excitement, obviously trying his hardest to stay still. If it was Sirius reading, he would have been up and running, imitating a dragon and swooping around the room.

Sirius leaned his back against the door, still watching Harry fondly. He let himself have a few more seconds. Then Harry caught his eye and made a little flapping motion, obviously keen to have him leave. Sirius crossed his eyes to make Harry laugh while he slipped an arm behind him and turned the doorknob, trying to push the door open and take a step backwards into the hallway. 

He encountered a bit of resistance and pushed the door harder. No give. He must have locked it somehow.

He spun around, looking down at the lock, and shoved the door open. He glanced up and peered through the window, making eye contact with the cart-pushing, rare book man he had seen earlier in the week. The man’s eyes widened in surprise for a split second before he tumbled to the ground as the door crashed into him. 

“Oh, fu... _for_ _goodness’ sake_!” Sirius whispered, furious at himself. He glanced back at the group of children who had turned at the noise. He tried to smile reassuringly at women at the front of the room, then sent an apologetic glace at Harry, whose withering stare plainly said _I can’t believe you’ve embarrassed me so much today_. 

He stepped into the hallway and shut the door behind him. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” Sirius said. 

The other man was already pulling himself up off of the floor, Sirius’s mug in one hand and drenched book in another. 

“It’s alright,” the other man muttered.

“Are you alright? Oh no, shit. I’ve ruined your book.”

“It’s o…” the words died on the man’s lips as he looked at the old, wet book. Sirius noticed his eyes widen in unmistakeable panic. 

“Oh my god, was it really valuable?”

The man didn’t say anything. For a moment, Sirius just watched him. He was staring at the book, apparently unable to speak. It looked like his mind was running a mile a minute, trying to catch up with the situation.

Suddenly he stooped to pick up his fallen items and Sirius dropped down to his knees to help him. His mug of tea had spilled and the top was still rolling precariously to the end of the hallway. The other man’s papers were scattered across the floor; a few were soaked beyond repair, but the majority were in a manilla folder that seemed to have avoided major water damage.

“I can’t possibly… I’m just  _ so _ sorry,” Sirius said lamely once again. He looked up at the man, who was standing now, gently pressing the edge of his cardigan into the cover of the book.

Sirius got to his feet awkwardly, holding out the folder and a few of the more soaked papers. 

“Thanks,” the man said quietly.   
  
“What’s going on?” a voice interrupted, the noise sounding harsh and loud in the silent hallway.

The severe woman who Sirius had met briefly on Monday had stuck her head out of the staff door. Her eyes widened as she looked at the book in her colleague’s hand. 

“Remus!” she breathed, sharply, angrily. 

“It’s my fault completely,” Sirius said, taking a step forward. She turned her gaze on him for a moment before snapping at the other man - Remus, apparently - to get inside so they could survey the damage. 

Sirius forced another muttered apology out to the pair, but neither responded. The staff door shut and he looked back miserably at the pile of his and Harry’s sodden belongings. 

“So, who’d you take out?”

Sirius looked up quickly to see the blonde librarian smirking. She had propped open the doorway and was leaning against the wall, her eyes more on the children than on Sirius. He glimpsed into the room beyond her, which was filled with kids working on their first craft of the night. 

“Uh, someone named Remus, I think?” Sirius said, trying the name out on his tongue. 

“Oh no,” Miss Marlene said, her smirk fading. She looked back at Sirius, “what happened?” 

“I opened the door right into him.” 

“Yikes.” 

She surveyed the puddle at Sirius’s feet. 

“What spilled?” 

“My mug of tea,” he said with a sigh. 

“Ah, right. Give me a second.” 

She retreated into the room, passing through the tables of children and checking on them as she made her way to a little kitchenette built into the wall at the front of the room. She said something to the volunteer, then grabbed a handful of paper towels, she wound her way through the room back to the open door way. She thrust half of them into Sirius’s hand. 

“Thanks,” he said wiping up the liquid. 

She bent down to help him. They worked together in silence for a few minutes, before Sirius got up the nerve to admit the extent of his mistake.

“He was carrying a rare book and it’s totally destroyed now. Is there… is there some way I could pay for it to be… well, maybe restored or something? Can that be done?” 

He had vague, awful memories of being dragged by his parents to art dealers, restoration specialists, antique shops. 

“Hm. It depends. Probably. But I wouldn’t worry. If Remus was walking around with a book out here it wouldn’t have been anything valuable.”

Seeing his skeptical expression, she sat back on her heels and explained. 

“I know that’s the rare book department but Remus does a bit of preservation for the whole library. Like if covers separate from a book he can put it back on, you know? The actual rare book department has really strict rules about what can even leave their stacks. Plus, they have this insane rule about not walking more than two steps without putting the book on a cart or something? I’m not sure exactly. But I _ am _ fairly sure that it was just a regular book Remus was fixing.”

Sirius wanted to be relieved, but he couldn’t stop remembering the panic-stricken look on the man’s face.

“Right. But. Well, I asked him if it was valuable and he looked… not happy. And then some other woman came out and yelled at him a bit, talking about surveying the extent of the damages.” 

“Oh,” Marlene said, surprised. She sat back, considering. 

“Well,” she said with her usual cheery tone returning, “luckily he’s a preservationist, so if it can be fixed, he’ll know what to do.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s a plus.” 

They gathered the wet paper towels and snuck back into the classroom. They both wandered over to the trash can, Sirius still worrying. 

He felt a tug at his waist. Harry was pulled on his shirt, face furrowed in distress. 

“What happened?” he hissed.

Sirius crouched down to meet Harry’s eye-level.

“I just accidentally opened the door into someone. It’s okay, though.” 

“Who was it?” 

“One of the other librarians here.” 

“Is she hurt?”

“No, no, he wasn’t hurt,” Sirius said quickly, “Everyone’s fine.”

“He?” 

“Yes.”

“Librarians can’t be  _ hes _ ,” Harry scoffed.

“Librarians can’t… what?” Sirius asked absentmindedly.

Sirius had been distracted reliving his encounter with the man.  _ Had _ he been okay? Had Sirius even asked? As soon as he spotted the ancient-looking tome he had focused solely on its destruction. Harry’s frowning face brought him back to the present.

“Librarians can be men, Harry,” he said, looking at Harry with a small smile. 

“Are you sure?” Harry asked skeptically. 

“Yes.” 

“They sure can!” The red-headed volunteer chirped from behind them. Sirius glanced up at her smiling face. 

“Do you want to take your dad to see your dragon, Harry?”

“Yes!” 

“When in doubt just distract them, dear,” the woman said, patting Sirius’s arm as he stood up to follow Harry. 

“Thank you, uh…?”

“That;s Miss Molly!” Harry called out, already back at his seat a few feet away, holding up a brightly colored toilet paper roll with streamers and construction paper glued haphazardly to it.

  
“Just Molly will be fine,” the woman said, already bustling away to help another child. 

“Right. Thanks.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Half an exhausting hour later, Sirius was buckling Harry into his booster seat. He was babbling away about one of the stories he had heard that evening and Sirius was nodding alonging, exclaiming when appropriate, and trying his best not to fixate on the fact that he may have ruined some poor man’s career. 

“Hold on one second, kid,” Sirius said, interrupting the tale of a knight and an overly friendly dragon, “I’ve got to shut the door now, okay?” 

Harry just nodded happily. Sirius shut him in and picked up his still-damp work bag from the ground. He opened his driver’s side door and looked up to pluck the empty mug from the hood of his car, where he had balanced it.

He gave a little start. The rare book librarian - Remus, he thought with a pang - was parked next to him. The man hadn’t seen Sirius. He was focused on unlocking his own car. Sirius hesitated. He felt compelled to keep apologizing, but for all he knew the man was sick to death of him.    
  


“Er. Hello,” Sirius said awkwardly. 

Remus looked up. 

“Remus, right?”

“Yes,” he said warily.

Sirius winced. 

“Sorry, Miss Mar… er, Marlene told me your name,” Sirius rambled, “Are you okay? I didn’t even ask after you fell. I feel so terrible. And the book. Was it, like, a rare one? Marlene said it wouldn’t be, if you were walking around with it but it looked so old and… I don’t know. You’re a preservationist she said?” 

“Yes,” the man said slowly, eyes wide as he took in Sirius’s frantic apology. 

“Hey!” Harry’s voice shouted from inside the car. 

“Sorry,” Sirius said quickly to Remus. He ducked his head in the car, “shhh, Harry. What?”

“Is that the boy librarian?” Harry asked, craning in his booster seat to get a look at Remus. 

“Yes,” Sirius whispered, “I just need to talk to him for a minute, okay?” 

“Okay,” Harry said, turning his attention to the cardboard dragon he was clutching. 

“Um, sorry. So. Preservationist. Right. So can the book be fixed?” 

“I’m not sure yet.”

“Oh.” 

“I’m drying it now. We can’t really know the extent of the staining for forty-eight hours.” 

“And um, was it a regular library book or…?” 

“Er, no,” the man said, almost apologetically.

Sirius sighed.

“I’m so sorry. You’re not going to be like… disciplined or anything are you? Your boss seemed a bit... “ he trailed off. 

Remus looked puzzled. 

“The woman who met us in the hallway?” Sirius prompted.

“Oh, she’s not my boss. She’s just... very protective of our books.”

Sirius arched an eyebrow, “apparently so.” 

Remus smiled faintly. Sirius noticed a little dimple in one cheek.  _ Pretty _ , his mind floated to him once again.

“Well,” Remus made a motion to get in his car.

“Right, well. Sorry again. If I can help in any way, pay for anything you need to fix it… whatever. Just let me know.” 

Remus waved him off, “that’s alright. Thank you for the offer, though.” 

He slipped into his car and, after a few seconds, Sirius did the same. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Friday, 4:25pm**

  
  


They arrived a bit early on Friday. Sirius felt it was important to do so, but he couldn’t quite figure out why. It was all to do with the librarian Remus, of course, who had been occupying a disproportionate amount of space in his brain over the past few days. 

He was torn between wanting to run into the man and wanting to avoid him. Surely he couldn’t just keep apologizing whenever he saw the man. But what else could he say? There was no other reason for the pair to interact. But then Sirius remembered that ghost of a smile and he shivered. 

Perhaps his preoccupation was more primal that he realized. It had been ages -- four and a half years, to be precise -- since Sirius had had anything more than a furtive wank in the shower. And even before then there had never been proper relationships. His therapist was constantly berating him for both of those facts. He was so utterly wrapped up in his unplanned parenthood and his too-stressful job that anything even remotely resembling an adult relationship outside of work was laughable.

So, yeah. Maybe that was it. Here he was, twenty-nine and horny, lusting after a librarian who probably now hated him. He leaned against the cement-blocked wall and groaned inaudibly, dropping his head backward and closing his eyes. Echoes of the hallway’s cheap halogen lights danced behind his eyelids. He’d had a headache since lunch.

“Hello, dear.” 

It was Molly, the volunteer.

He was lined up in the hallway with some of the other parents. Almost all of them were women, but a few couples were there as well, as well as one or two men on their own. He nodded hello to Molly, who was standing at the front of the line near the door with two of her children. They were apparently the only two who were young enough to still attend Marlene’s storytime. He wasn’t sure exactly how many children she had, but based on the snippets of conversation he heard from Harry about his friend Ron, it was far more than he could have handled.

One of the single mothers who had been eying Sirius predatorily for the past two weeks finally approached Sirius. He bit his cheek to keep from swearing.

“So, you’re on dad duty in the evenings then? Giving your wife a bit of a break?” 

“Uh, no,” he said shortly. He’d seen her eyeing his ringless finger and knew she was waiting for the obligatory  _ I’m not married _ . But he was in a mulish mood and he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction.

“Girlfriend?” 

  
“I’m gay,” he said brusquely, barely restraining an eye roll.

“Oh!” 

Her tone changed and he glanced over at her, watching her face go through the series of expressions single women his age often gave him: disappointment, consideration, intrigue, and finally a spark of hope as they considered the possibility of a new gay best friend.

“Well,” she said, patting his arm, “it’s awfully nice that you split childcare duties with your partner.” 

He hummed noncommittally. He’d learned from some of the mothers at Harry’s school that advertising that he was gay and single would just lead to a string of phone numbers for men he had no interest in.

He was saved by Marlene, who was heading down the hallway, keys jingling. Everyone straightened up and took a few steps towards the door. 

“Hello everyone!” she called out and she unlocked the classroom, “it’s our last day of dragons! Are we all excited!?” 

The kids pushed through the sea of adult legs, rushing to get a good spot on the carpet. Sirius watched Harry trot up to Molly’s two kids with a smile. He hung around at the back of the group, not in a rush to sign Harry in and figure out what to do with himself for the next ninety minutes. Sitting in the hallway was obviously out. Even standing around for too long now was probably out of the question; it would be far too creepy.

As he grew closer to the front of the line, he saw Molly whispering to Marlene at the door. Her eyes flickered towards him and he grew nervous. Maybe they had an update on Remus for him. Maybe the book was ruined. Worse, maybe Remus had been injured after all. His stomach was in knots by the time he reached them.

“Forgive me for overhearing earlier,” Molly said in a quiet voice, “but I heard Suanne talking about a partner? Did you want to add someone to your contact list in case this person would ever need to drop off or pick up Harry?” 

Sirius blinked in surprise. 

“Oh. Er, no. It’ll just be me.” 

“No partner?” Molly eyed him shrewdly. 

“No,” Sirius said slowly, moving past her to scrawl his name on the sign-in sheet. 

“Okay then!” Molly said brightly, “I just like to make sure I know who any responsible adult may be, Just to be sure the kids are going home with their proper guardians, that’s all. Can’t be too careful, can we Mr. Potter?” 

His heart gave a funny lurch. 

“Black.”

“What’s that?” Molly said distractedly. She was pulling the doorstop out and preparing to close the door. 

“My surname is Black. Harry’s is Potter, but… but not mine,” he finished lamely. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, looking slightly embarrassed. She gave his face a searching look, and he wondered how tortured he looked. 

“No problem,” he muttered, “see you in a bit.” 

  
  
  
  


He grabbed a book at random from a display downstairs and took it to the little cafe area in the back corner of the floor. The cafe was tucked under the big staircase that led up to the second floor where storytime was held. The little tables for customers were located directly underneath the meeting rooms, and it gave Sirius some irrational comfort to know he was still close to Harry.

He ordered a tea and plopped down in one of the armchairs near a fireplace, leafing through the book. It was a biography of Johannes Kepler. He threw it onto a table next to him and pulled out his phone. 

He scrolled mindlessly for a while. An email notification pinged. He swiped to see the sender, growing curious when he saw it was one of Harry’s teachers. He sat up straight, suddenly anxious. Possibilities raced through his mind. Harry was being bullied... Harry  _ was _ the bully... He’d failed a test... 

No. He was being stupid. Harry didn’t even  _ have _ tests yet.

Sirius shook his head and set his cup of tea down. He opened the email. 

_ Just a friendly update that… _

He sighed. When would he stop being instantly worried when anything related to Harry popped up in his life? Never, probably. Perhaps parenthood was just one long slog of anxiety. He tapped back to the article he had been reading previously and settled back into his chair. when a disapproving sniff came from in front of him. 

He glanced up to see Not-Remus’s-Boss glaring at him. The older woman huffed at him, looking pointedly at the table to his right. Bemused, he followed her gaze. 

“Oh, shit.”

He had left the steaming teacup perched on top of the Kepler biography. 

“ _ And _ it’s a Kepler!” she muttered furiously, eyes rolled towards Heaven, as though God had personally sent Sirius to the library to test her. She stomped away. 

He stared after her wide-eyed, wondering how his accidental choice of biography subject had managed to make her even more angry. She slipped into a door marked  _ Staff Only _ to the left of the cafe and was gone. 

He leafed through the book then shrugged and returned to his tea. He kept the cup firmly in his hand for the rest of the evening. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Wednesday, 4:32pm**

“Harry! No running!” 

Sirius was walking quickly through the library, eyes fixed on Harry’s little body, which was tearing through the fiction section and heading towards the staircase at the back of the building. 

“Harry!” he called out, a little louder this time, “No! Running!” 

Harry slowed down and turned to face him, frowning. 

“I don’t want to be late! I already missed Monday!” 

“I know, but you can’t run,” Sirius jostled past a few people, making his way quickly toward the staircase. 

“Sorry, excuse me,” he said, trying to slip past the line of people waiting at the check-out desk.

“Sorry, I… ah! No!”

He had managed to scoot through the line, but had stumbled into a large cardboard display by the bottom of the staircase. The cardboard went flying and crashed into a folding table, which in turn sent plastic holders full of leaflets and postcards flying.

Sirius stood there helpless, hands full of his bag and Harry’s belongings. Brightly colored advertisements fluttered down around Harry’s face, which looked mutinous. 

“Just go,” he sighed to Harry, “tell Miss Molly I’ll sign you in in a bit.” 

He dropped his things and stooped down to start gathering the papers up. A young woman came over and stopped him. 

“Excuse me, sir? I can do this!” 

He looked up at the woman, who was wearing a library-branded polo shirt with a lanyard around her neck.

“No that’s fine. I’m so sorry. I just… I’ll help pick everything up,” Sirius said resignedly. He vaguely wondered if it was possible to be banned from the library for inadvertent property destruction. 

“No, honestly. I’ve got it,” she insisted, “you go with your kid.” 

He ignored her, muttering another apology under his breath as he continued to pick up the papers littering the floor. The young woman was 

“Dorcas?” 

At the vaguely familiar voice, Sirius’s head snapped up. The woman from the rare books room was back. He groaned and prepared to flee. 

“Oh, it’s you!” she snarled. 

“Er. Yes. Sorry, I…” 

“Tell me,” she said briskly, “do you have something against this exhibit happening?” 

“Er…? What?” 

“Do you, or do you not, intend to sabotage this exhibit?” 

“What exhibit?” 

The woman scoffed. 

“I cannot believe that-” 

“Irma!” 

Remus was hurrying up to the little group, which had begun to attract a lot of attention. 

“What’s going on?” he whispered urgently.

His eyes fell on Sirius and his expression of confusion deepened. 

“Hello,” Sirius said glumly, both hands full of crumpled pamphlets.

“Hi? What’s…?”

“First this man has destroyed the centerpiece of the exhibit,” Irma said shrilly, “then he ruins a biography. And today he has destroyed the display.”

“I swear I didn’t mean to do any of… whatever you said. I don’t even know what exhibit you’re talking about. I promise I’m not usually this clumsy, but-” 

“And how does clumsiness explain the Kepler biography?” the woman countered.

Remus, who had been looking back and forth between the pair with some alarm, held up a hand to his colleague. 

“Irma, please go back to the workroom. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

The woman stalked off, throwing a final furious glance at Sirius. 

“I didn’t do this intentionally,” he said miserably to Remus, “I swear. I’m just… trying my best, I guess?”

Dorcas turned to look at Remus, wide-eyed.

“It did look like an accident, Remus.” 

“I’m sure it was,” Remus said quietly, turning to Sirius.

“You were heading upstairs?” 

“Yes.”    
  
“Right. Dorcas, can you finish cleaning up?” 

“Yep.” 

Remus nodded once, then turned and headed up the stairs. Sirius stooped to pick up one of the clear acrylic pamphlet holders and shoved the papers he was holding in them unceremoniously. He set it gingerly on the table, then followed him. He wondered vaguely if Remus was going to believe his coworker’s assertions that he was sabotaging the library intentionally and berate him for it, or if he was just going to ask him to be more careful. 

He heard the muffled laughter from Harry’s storytime classroom. 

“Uh, I just have to…” 

Remus looked at him in confusion. Sirius took a step towards the door. 

“I won’t be long.”

“Oh...okay?” Sirius heard Remus say as the door shut.

Sirius slipped into the room and scribbled a signature onto the sign-in sheet that was located at the front of the room. Before he could escape back into the hallway, though, Marlene had scurried up to him. 

“Harry tells me you knocked someone over again?” she asked, a hint of a smile in her voice. 

“Not someone, no. Just a whole ruddy display of papers or Kepler or something. I don’t know. I think I’m about to get a talking to from the principal though,” he muttered, jerking his head towards the hallway, glancing to see where Remus was standing. 

He did a double take. Remus was no longer standing in the hallway. Marlene leaned her head in towards his and peered out of the window curiously. 

“Who was going to give you a talking to?” she said curiously. 

“Uh, I thought Remus was,” he said with a frown. 

Marlene snorted. 

“Oh yeah, he’s a real disciplinarian, that one. Watch out.” 

Sirius sent her a fleeting glance, then stepped back out into the hallway. He looked up and down, but the space was deserted. His mind whirred for a few seconds. Did Remus expect him to follow him somewhere? An office maybe? Or the rare book reading room? Or maybe Remus had no intention of talking to him at all. Maybe they just happened to be going in the same direction. But then, why ask if that was where Sirius was headed? 

As he was standing frozen in front of the staff door he had seen Remus slip in and out of wondering what was wrong with him, the young woman - Doracs, he remembered - jogged up the stairs. 

“Hello again!” she said happily. She strode past him, but she must have seen the lost, bewildered look on his face, because she stopped before swiping into the staff door. 

“Are you alright? Can I help you with something?” 

“Uh. I don’t know. I thought… I thought your boss wanted to talk to me?” 

“Remus?” she said, surprised, “do you want me to grab him?” 

He thought quickly for a moment. 

“Um. No? If he doesn’t… uh no. Sorry,” he finished shortly. 

“Okay,” she said, the veneer of her customer service smile slipping a bit into a genuine look of pity, “well if you need anything let me know.” 

“Okay.” 

She opened the door and was gone. Sirius turned around on the spot, looking at Harry’s storytime room. Turned back to look at the staff door. Finally, he walked back downstairs and headed to the cafe. It was probably best just to find a seat and stay out of trouble.

As he reached the bottom of the staircase, he looked at the cardboard stand that he had knocked over a few minutes earlier. The board showed a large, antique-looking illustration of the solar system with the name “Johannes Kepler” scrawled over it in script. He grabbed a pamphlet and flipped through it as he ordered a coffee. It was some sort of interactive exhibit that the library was putting on with a nearby science museum. It looked as though there would be a number of science stations, activities, and Sirius read with a groan, literature celebrating the life and works of Kepler. 

He kept reading.

_ Of particular note is the library’s first edition of Astronomia Nova, published in 1609 by Johannes Kepler, which... _

The shrill voice of the older, female librarian echoed in his head; she had declared that he had ruined the centerpiece of the exhibit. 

A numbness flooded his body.

Surely he didn’t…

“Sir?”

He looked up in alarm. The woman in the cafe was holding a mug of tea out to him, looking concerned. 

“Your tea, sir?” 

“Right. Thanks,” he grabbed it quickly, sloshing it over the side.

He looked back at the barista in panic. 

“Do you have a cup with a lid?” 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Friday, 4:40pm**

  
  


On Friday, Sirius hid in the cafe. He had signed Harry at exactly 4:30, entering the building late enough to avoid the crowds in the hallway, but not late enough that Harry would feel the need to run through the library while chastising Sirius for their tardiness. 

He gave an awkward, quick smile to Marlene as he signed Harry in, then stepped back in the hallway. The staff door from the rare book department opened and, for a moment, Sirius thought he was going to be stuck facing Irma’s wrath or, somehow worse, Remus’s polite, hidden disappointment. Instead, Dorcas popped out of the door and smiled at Sirius. 

“Oh, hello. Is it…” she looked at her watch disappointedly “I didn’t realize how late it was. I was just going to the bathroom...” 

“Uh, yeah. It’s just after 4:30,” Sirius said, a bit puzzled.

“Right,” she said distractedly. He stayed quiet, not knowing what to say.

“So do you have a kid in storytime?” she said, recovering herself. 

“Yeah.” 

“Nice!” 

“It is. He loves it.” 

Dorcas hummed happily.

“Marlene’s the best,” she said with a broad smile, “Anyways…”

She made to step back into the staff door, but then glanced at Sirius, stopped, and flushed. 

“Bathroom. Right.” 

She strode off down the hallway and left Sirius alone again, wondering what in the hell was going on in this library.

  
  
  
  
  


He didn’t buy tea this Friday. He just sank into one of the large armchairs in the corner and tried to angle himself so that he was more or less facing a wall.

He couldn’t stop thinking of anything besides that drenched, ancient book; couldn’t stop thinking of the possibility that he had destroyed a rare scientific treatise, or - much, much worse - gotten Remus into trouble. He scrolled through his phone absentmindedly, wondering if there was a way he could find out whether or not the  _ Astronomia Nova _ was the book he had ruined. He supposed he could always go to the exhibit and see if there was a giant book-shaped hole in the display case. 

He bounced his leg up and down nervously and pulled up the library’s homepage on his phone. He scrolled down, looking for any link to the exhibit. It was opening in three weeks. There was a link to a news article about the opening gala. He couldn’t help but noticed that the article made no mention of the book. 

Curious, he opened a new tab and searched for the book. He scrolled past Wikipedia articles and Amazon links. He scrolled back up and added “auction” to the search. 

He tapped a few of the links to Sothebys and Christie’s, auction houses that were staples in his parents’ social circles. Copies had sold for over 200,000 pounds. Sold though, not for sale. He kept scrolling. Finally he found a link to an active auction. He was halfway through creating an account in order to express interest in the item before it dawned on him that he had gone slightly - if not completely - crazy. 

_ Two hundred and thirty thousand pounds _ for a  _ book _ ? A book he wasn’t even sure he had destroyed?

His thumb hovered over the x in the corner of the screen. He hesitated. The problem was, he could afford it. Really quite easily, in fact. A little bit of Alphard’s inheritance was still left, though he had mostly used that up when he was a teenager cut off from his parents and paying his own way through university. But then his parents had died before they had properly disinherited him; whatever paperwork needed to be filed to make it legitimate was never completed, and Regulus had not, surprisingly, contested the will. Finally, there was the Potter’s money. Effie and Monty had left a substantial amount to James. It had then, horribly, come to Sirius. Of course Sirius would never dream of touching that money; it would go entirely to Harry once he was older. 

His finger resumed its tapping, and he filled out half of his email address before he shook his head and closed the tab. It was an accident. Even if he had destroyed a priceless book, it was an accident. Surely the library had insurance for these types of situations. 

The guilt gnawed at him for the rest of the night, and by the time he finally trudged up the stairs to pick up Harry, he was in a very bad mood. 

“Come on, Harry.” 

  
“Okay,” Harry sighed, zipping up his jacket slowly. 

He was dawdling near the Weasley children, head bent over something the boy was holding, whispering excitedly. 

“Do you need me to pull them apart, dear?” Molly asked him. 

“No, no. I’m sure they’ll be ready to go in a few minutes.” 

Molly looked at the pair skeptically. 

  
“Well, I’m usually here for another twenty minutes or so helping to clean up, so I really should fetch him if you’re trying to get home.” 

Sirius watched Harry laughing with the others. 

“Is it alright if we stick around until you’re finished? I can help clean up,” he added quickly. 

“Oh, you’re sweet. No, of course it’s no problem. They can just play in the corner while we tidy up. You can just wait here though, I’ll not have you helping.” 

Sirius tried to protest, but Marlene pushed him into one of the little chairs and told him he would have to fill out volunteer paperwork if he wanted to help. He perked up at the idea, thinking he might have found an excuse to stay in the meeting room with Harry during storytime. He opened his mouth to ask for the paperwork, but Marlene rolled her eyes and shot him down. 

“Trust me, you don’t want to be wearing that suit and covered in glue. Just relax.”

Sirius conceded the point with a frown and called out to Harry, letting him know he could play for a bit longer. Harry and the two other children cheered and swarmed him. 

  
“Look what we made!” 

“Ah whoa, too close, too close,” he laughed, pulling his head back as Harry shoved a Lego dragon under his nose. 

He plucked it from Harry’s hands and held it up, as if inspecting it closely. The children stared up at him rapturously.

“This is very good work, sir,” he said finally, causing the little group to dissolve in giggles.

“Mine next!” the little girl said, thrusting her rather deformed dragon into Sirius’s hands. 

“Hm. Well this one has a tail, good… a head, very nice… and wings!? Most inventive, Miss Weasley.” 

She laughed and snatched it back from him. Their interest migrating elsewhere quickly, they rushed towards the door. 

“Let’s go fly them outside!” Harry shouted. 

“Let’s stay in here for now, okay, Harry?” Sirius said, standing up and intercepting them at the door before the children could escape. 

“But Dad, I…” 

“No, we can’t play out there. People work out there.” 

“Not in the hallway,” Harry protested.

“No, but there are offices right next door. So you have to be quiet in the hallway.” 

“We can be quiet!” the red-headed boy shouted.

“Yeah!”

“Ronald Weasley, no playing in the hallway!” Molly said sharply. Over the children’s heads she sent Sirius a smile. 

“Thank you,” he mouthed. 

Harry was still pouting by the door.

“But what if--” 

But whatever Harry had planned as his next argument was cut off. The door opened suddenly and with a dull crack, Harry was pushed backwards. He let out a strangled yelp and tumbled to the floor. 

Sirius was at his side in an instant. He knelt next to him, pushing the door back a bit to scoop Harry’s little body up. He was clutching his face and a trickle of blood was dripping from underneath his hand. 

“Are you okay, kiddo?” he said softly. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” a voice above him said in anguish. 

Sirius looked up. Remus was standing over them, wide-eyed. 

“Are you…? Is he…?” 

Sirius returned his attention to Harry, unable to force his brain to deal with the sudden appearance of the man. 

“Can I see your nose?” Sirius asked Harry softly.

Marlene and Molly had come over, and the children were hovering nearby, watching with anxious faces. Harry shook his head frantically, eyes bright. He was hiccuping slightly with the effort of restraining his tears.

“It’s okay,” Sirius said, pressing a kiss to his hair, “You’re fine. You’re going to be fine. I just need to see it, okay?” 

Marlene passed him a handful of wet paper towels and plastic first aid kit. Molly was now ushering her children away quietly. Sirius kept talking to Harry, quietly coaxing him to let his hand down and show Sirius his injury. Above him, he heard Marlene speaking to Remus, but he didn’t take anything in. 

“There you go!” he said encouragingly as Harry lowered his hand. His nose was, mercifully, fine. Unbroken at least, if a little bruised. It was his lip that was bleeding; it looked his teeth had split it. 

“I’m so sorry,” Remus said again. Sirius and Harry looked up at him. He felt Harry shrink back in his arms. He covered his face again and turned his head into Sirius’s shoulder. 

“It’s fine,” Sirius said. 

“Is he okay?” 

  
“Yeah, he’ll be fine. Can you get up, Harry?” 

Harry didn’t respond. Sirius looked up at Remus, who was looking incredibly guilty and slightly tortured. 

“He’ll be fine, I promise.” 

“Alright,” he said awkwardly. He hovered for another second then said, “I’m very sorry, Harry.” 

He gave a small, pained smile, and left the room. 

“Okay, Harry. Time to get up.” 

Harry shook his head for a few more seconds. Ron, the Weasley boy, wandered over after a minute. 

  
“Mom says you can keep playing if you want. If it’s okay with your dad.” 

  
Harry sniffed, considering the offer. Then nodded and pulled himself out of Sirius’s lap. 

“Hey. Ice pack first?” 

Harry nodded and took the ice pack Sirius proffered from the first aid kit. 

As Harry scampered off, holding the ice pack to his face Sirius leaned against the wall, the full weight of the day catching up to him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply. Thank god it was the weekend. Molly sank down next to him, peeling dried glue off of her hands. 

“He’s more shocked than hurt, I think,” she said, patting his shoulder consolingly.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Sirius agreed. 

“He can tire himself out here, then you put him straight to bed and have yourself a glass of wine. Or a stiff drink.” 

Sirius laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Monday, 4:25pm**

They were lined up in the hallway again. As he had been doing all weekend, Harry was prodding his tongue against his sore, red lip.

‘Leave it be, Harry,” Sirius said. Harry glanced up at Sirius, but ignored him, and kept poking at his lip.

The staff door to the rare book room opened. Harry peered down the hall, obviously hoping it was Marlene coming to unlock the door. Instead it was Dorcas, one of the rare book department staff members, who came out and wandered to the bathroom at the far end of the hallway.

A few minutes later Sirius noticed her walking slowly back. As she drew closer to her office entrance, she glanced at her watch and looked behind her, towards the children’s department’s staff door. She looked back at the crowd, frowning slightly.

She caught Sirius’s eye. He looked away, acutely aware he had been caught staring.

‘Hello!”

“Hi,” Sirius said, nodding in greeting.

“How are you?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“Good,” she said, “good.”

“That’s good,” Sirius said. He looked at her, trying to figure out what she wanted. There were too many awkward silences for this to be oblivious, friendly small talk, but she definitely wasn’t flirting with him.

“Um. Is this your son?” she pointed down at Harry.

“This is Harry. Want to say hello, Harry?”

Harry glanced up at the woman.

“Hi.”

“Hello. Are you in Miss Marlene’s class?”

“Yep!”

“And do you like it?”

“I love it!”

She beamed at him.

“What’s your favorite part of the class?”

“Um… I think maybe.. Stories? Or crafts? It depends if the stories are funny or not,” he said pensively.

Dorcas laughed and began questioning him again.

“Do you have a fav...favorite...?”

The staff door down the hall opened again and Marlene swept out, carrying a big canvas tote bag filled with books. Dorcas watched her carefully until she started walking towards the crowd. Then she turned back towards Harry.

“So, er...” she began again, “do you have a lot of friends in the class?”

“Yep! I have…”

Harry listed off the Weasley children, as well as a string of other children Sirius was marginally aware of from Harry’s stories.

Sirius watched Dorcas closely. She was a bit flushed and her eyes kept flicking to the side, towards the door that Marlene was unlocking. Or perhaps just towards Marlene. He considered the pair. Marlene: colorful clothes, sing-a-longs, and glitter. Dorcas: button-down cardigan, pageboy haircut, and relentless cheeriness.

Molly made her way over to Sirius and, watching him watching them, raised her eyebrows conspiratorially.

“They’re both oblivious,” she whispered, “it’s been like this for a year or so. Ever since Dorcas started.”

Sirius laughed quietly, then shuffled towards the door as the crowd thinned out. Dorcas had straightened up and started saying hello shyly to Marlene.

Harry looked up at Sirius.

“Can I go in th- ?”

His eyes widened as he stared at something above Sirius’s shoulder. Sirius turned and saw Remus, his back to them, walking from his staff door to another door further down the hall. Sirius turned back to Harry.

“You want to go in?”

Harry nodded mutely, eyes still fixed on Remus.

“Is that the boy librarian?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, suppressing a smile.

“I want to go in,” Harry said sharply.

Sirius dropped down to Harry’s level.

“Harry, you don’t need to be afraid of him.”

“I know,” Harry murmured, avoiding his eyes.

“What happened last week was an accident. You remember what that means, right?”

Harry nodded, but still looked anxious. Sirius glanced behind him. Remus was carrying a bottle of some kind as he made his way back to his office door. He saw Sirius and Harry and faltered. He nodded hello awkwardly. Sirius nodded back.

He turned to Harry, who was pulling his arm, trying to move the pair into the meeting room.

“Alright, let’s go in, then.”

He signed Harry in and hovered by the door for a few minutes, watching. Harry was chattering happily with his friends on the carpet, waiting for Marlene to start. He seemed okay, his nervousness forgotten in the presence of friends. Marlene smiled at him and Sirius gave a little wave and left the room.

He stepped out into the hallway just as Remus passed in front of the door on the opposite side of the narrow hallway. Sirius stepped back and allowed him to pass, giving a little nod of acknowledgement.

“No, go ahead,” Remus said quietly.

Sirius sighed and walked forward, making his way down the stairs. He felt Remus a few steps behind him.

He headed to the cafe, still hearing the man’s footsteps. He got in line, tense. Remus was just behind him. The line was long. After a few seconds, Sirius heard the other man clearing his throat.

“Is your son okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks for asking,” Sirius said, turning to face him.

“I feel terrible.”

“It’s alright. There was just a little cut on his lip, honestly.”

“Still, I’m sorry.”

“It’s really okay,” Sirius said with a small smile. He turned back to face the front of the line. As he turned he saw the other man’s face falling back into a cloud of anxiety. Remus rubbed at the back of his neck anxiously, shifting on the balls of his feet.

Sirius was still for a few more seconds, listening the woman at the front of the line ask a question about a coupon. His eyes fell on a little tabletop tent advertising the Kepler exhibit. He spun around quickly, thoughts of the ruined book came flooding back to him.

“What did I ruin?”

Remus looked him wide-eyed, questioningly.

“What?” he said, taken aback.

“When my tea spilled a few weeks ago. Was it the _Astronomia Nova_?”

“Oh,” Remus said, comprehension dawning.

Sirius looked at him expectantly.

“Yes, it was,” Remus said awkwardly.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

“How did you guess?” Remus asked.

“Your colleague said I ruined the centerpiece of the exhibit or something, so I looked it up.”

Remus nodded, “I’m so sorry about that.”

“ _You’re_ sorry?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“About Irma.”

“Oh. No, no,” he said quickly, “now that I know what I did it seems like a reasonable reaction, honestly.”

“It really isn’t. I know it was an accident. It’s… well, it’s dried out now.”

“Is it okay?” Sirius asked hopefully.

“Er. Well…”

“Oh my god, I feel like such an asshole.”

“Well, I decked out your kid, so I guess we’re even,” Remus said. He wasn’t really looking at Sirius, still rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment, but he had a rueful smile on his lips and a hint of mischief in his eye.

Sirius laughed loudly in surprise.

“I suppose you did,” he said.

Remus gave him a shy smile and shrugged, cheeks coloring.

_God, he was pretty._

“What can I get you?”

Sirius spun around. The line had moved on without him. He took a few big steps towards the counter.

“Oh, uh. Just a small coffee. And,” he turned to Remus, “what are you getting?”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to…” he was shaking his head feverishly.

“Chai?” the woman at the counter asked Remus, then turned to give Sirius an appraising look.

“Er, yes. Thanks, Anne.” Remus said.

“I’ll give you two your staff discount,” she said nodding to Remus. She took the credit card from Sirius’s outstretched hand.

“Thanks,” he said.

“Thank you so much, you really didn’t have to do that,” Remus said as they shuffled to the end of the counter to wait for their drinks.

Sirius waved off his thanks. They stood shoulder to shoulder as they waited for their drinks, the silence thick between them. As one of the workers slid their drinks across the counter to them, Sirius made up his mind, squared his shoulders, and took a deep breath.

“Do you have a minute to talk?” Sirius asked.

“Sure,” Remus said, giving him a curious glance and gesturing to the tables, “here or…?”

“Do you have an office?”

“I do,” he said slowly.

“I wanted to ask you about the Kepler book.”

“Oh,” Remus said flatly, looking as though he wanted to argue. Sirius pushed towards the stairs before he could say anything else.

“Lovely,” he said, “up stairs, I assume?”

“Yes.”

Once again, he felt Remus trailing a few feet behind him as he made his way across the library and up the stairs. Sirius was somehow even more nervous this time around. He made his way down the second-floor hallway and stood next to the staff door, standing a few paces to the side so Remus could unlock it. The librarian swiped his ID and held the door open for Sirius.

The door opened on what looked like the break room of a suit of offices. There was a dingy table and coat rack off to one side of the small room, with two doors on the right wall. Ahead of them was another hallway which Remus led him through. This opened to a substantially larger room, which had waist-high work tables surrounded by stools in the center of the room, and computer stations around the perimeter. The workroom was littered with book carts and gray archival boxes.

Dorcas was sitting at one of the computers, tapping away. She gave Remus and Sirius a curious glance, but Remus kept walking. At the opposite end of the work room was a door that, based on what Sirius could see through the small window, led into the reading room he had visited during the first week of storytime. Remus entered an office just to the left of that door. The nameplate on the door read Dr. Remus Lupin, Director, Rare Books and Special Collections.

It was a small room with no window. There was a large desk stacked with books and an overflowing in-tray.

Remus nodded to a pair of chairs in front of his desk. Sirius sank into the one that wasn’t overflowing with books and papers, and waited until Remus had shut the door and sat down behind his desk to begin talking.

“So,” Remus said, looking more comfortable now that he was on his home turf, “what did you want to discuss?”

“The _Astronomia Nova_ ,” Sirius said, hoping he was pronouncing it correctly, “I wanted to pay for the… restoration or whatever. Or compensate you somehow.”

Remus tilted his head slightly and surveyed him with a frown.

“That’s not really possible,” he said slowly, “I sent it to a lab for conservation, but it’s someone we partner with, so they won’t charge us.”

“But earlier, downstairs I mean, you seemed to imply that it wasn’t really fixed.”

“Well, it’s sustained a lot of water damage. There is a process we use to freeze dry that can help mitigate it, but there was already some warping and staining before I could get it to the lab. So, unfortunately it’s-”

“What about a replacement copy?”

Remus took a sip of his chai and looked away from Sirius. He seemed to be weighing his words. Finally he swallowed and gave Sirius a wry smile.

“It’s not really replaceable, I’m afraid.”

“Of course,” Sirius said awkwardly, “I mean, it wouldn’t be the exact same copy, but there’s one up for auction now. At Sotheby's, I think.”

He pulled out his phone and started searching for the listing.

“Mister… sorry, I don’t actually know your name--”

“Sirius.”

“Mr. Sirius, this-”

“No, Black. Black is my surname,” he said, distractedly, locating the right link and clicking on it.

“Mr. Black, this wouldn’t be like a… an eBay bid or something. The _Astronomia Nova_ is, well, extremely valuable.”

Sirius slid his phone across the desk to Remus. Remus picked it up, peering at it anxiously.

“Er, Mr. Black. Did you… did you see the listed price for this?”

“Yes,” Sirius said, slipping into business mode, “now, I’m assuming you had some kind of insurance on it?”

“Uh, yes, but…”

“Just part of your general property insurance or is it covered by specialized insurance?”

“Specialized, but-”

“Well, I’m assuming the library either doesn’t want to file a claim because your premium would go up substantially, or because whatever coverage your policy has on accidental damage wouldn’t be enough to replace the item. Or both?”

“Both,” Remus said weakly.

“Why bother paying for…” Sirius scoffed under his breath, “Well, nevermind. Did you meet with… whoever is in charge of the library about this? Do you have a director?”

“Yes, A general director and a board of trustees,” Remus sighed.

“And you discussed the insurance and cost of replacement with them?”

“Yes, but Mr. Black,” Remus said heavily, “This is a public library, not a private institution. My budget comes from taxes. Suffice it to say, we don’t have any leeway in our budget for replacements. Unfortunately, I’m afraid we’ll just have to live with whatever damage was sustained.”

“Your bosses must not have been happy about that,” Sirius said, leveling him with a look.

“No,” Remus said ruefully, “not at all. But they understand it was an accident so they aren’t going to hold me liable.”

Sirius’s eyebrows rose, “we’re they actually considering that?”

“Well, we have policies in place to ensure this type of thing doesn’t happen. I broke protocol and the item was damaged, so theoretically…” he spread his hands and shrugged.

Sirius leaned back in his chair.

“But this is supposed to be on display in some exhibit soon, right?”

“Yes, but it’s not the end of the world. We have another piece from a contemporary of Kepler’s that we can display.”

“But nothing by Kepler.”

“No,” Remus said sadly.

Sirius tossed his phone between his hands, thinking hard.

“I’d like to replace the copy I damaged, or at the very least help defray whatever cost insurance doesn’t cover.”

“But it’s… our insurance wouldn’t even cover… a quarter of that,” he said, finishing the mental calculations with a frown.

“That’s alright.”

Remus opened and closed his mouth several times, evidently unable to find the right words.

“But.. that’s… you can’t.”

“Don’t you have donors? Isn’t that big event in a few weeks for the exhibit a fundraising dinner or something?”

“Yes, but that’s different. That’s-”

“I’d like to donate in advance then, that’s all.”

Remus fiddled with his cup of tea, shredding the cardboard sleeve, considering. Finally he spoke again.

“If you’re serious about this, I’ll need to speak with a lot of people about the technicalities of purchasing it.”

“That’s fine,” Sirius said. He looked at the time on his phone and stood up, “I’ve got to get Harry. Shall I meet you here on Wednesday?”

“Okay,” Remus said faintly.

**Wednesday, 4:15pm**

“We’re so early today!” Harry cried as they perused the children’s section downstairs.

Sirius had left work after lunch to meet with his accountant. He had already begun the purchase of the replacement _Astronomia Nova_. As loathe as he was to do it, he had met with his parents’ old antique broker on Tuesday, knowing it would be easier to facilitate the purchase through a dealer. Just as he had when he was a child, he left the shop feeling in need of a shower. The antique dealer was slimy through and through, metaphorically and - somehow - literally. He shuddered just thinking about him.

He had arrived at Harry's school early, having come straight from his accountant. He tapped on the steering wheel, waiting, watching for Harry to come rushing out of the school yard. His phone chimed and he opened an email from Borgin, which confirmed that his bid had been accepted. He offered ten thousand more than the auction house had asked, on the condition that it was delivered in-person to the library within the week.

The paperwork and signatures had been endless and by the end of the meeting he had felt slightly ill, remembering the icy tone of his father’s voice when he was buying up priceless art, snatching it out from an unsuspecting museum at the last minute with an unbeatable bid.

He threw his phone in the cup holder and ran a hand through his hair. Surely he was better than his father. He was donating the book to a library, for god's sake. In fact, he thought happily, wasn’t it true that now _he_ would be able to snatch up the book from some pretentious snob who only wanted the book to prove how rich he was, and give it to said unsuspecting museum? Or library, as it were.

Feeling much better by the time Harry hopped in the car and buckled himself in his booster seat, Sirius headed straight to the library, keen to tell Remus what he had done. Since Sirius had met him, he seemed very withdrawn and anxious - no doubt owing to the £230,000 albatross around his neck. Hopefully the man would be happier now.

“Can I get this one? Or this one? Or both?”

Harry held up two books. They were checking out their books early today. Sirius glanced at them from his seat in a rocking chair in the children’s section, where he had been daydreaming. He held out his hand and flipped through both titles before okaying them.

“You can get both, sure. Let’s go check them out before your class, okay?”

Harry toddled off to the self-checkout machine, holding the books proudly. Sirius wandered over and pulled Harry’s library card out of his wallet.

“Hello, Mr. Black,” Irma the librarian was walking by.

“Oh, hello,” he said warily.

“I wanted to apologize for the outburst last week. I really thought you were intentionally sabotaging us. Some of our less...scientifically-minded patrons have been known to do that on occasion.”

She offered him an apologetic smile and Sirius, wondering exactly how crazy someone would have to be to intentionally sabotage a library event, returned it faintly.

“And Dr. Lupin told us you’ve offered to buy a replacement copy of the _Nova_ ,” she said with a wide smile.

“Oh. I did, yeah.”

“And you intend to go through with it?” She said shrewdly, apparently doubting him as much as Remus had.

“I’ve already bought it,” he said.

“You’re buying a book?” Harry said, looking up at the adults.

“Yes, I accidentally damaged one of the library’s books, so I’m paying for another copy for them.”

“Like we had to do with _Green Eggs and Ham_ ,” Harry said, nodding sagely.

“Exactly,” Sirius said, suppressing a smile.

“He’s adorable,” Irma said.

“Thank you?” He took a slight step backwards, worried that the mercurial librarian would turn on him any second once Harry's words sunk in and she realized he had inadvertently admitted to destroying another book.

“It’s the least I could do,” he offered kindly.

“Well, it’s an amazing gift. And it’s Dr. Lupin’s favorite book in the collection. I don’t think he’ll ever forgive himself for taking it out of the stacks.”

“Oh,” Sirius said, “er, that’s too bad.”

“Yes,” Irma said, nodding sadly, “well thank you again, Mr. Black.”

The machine beeped and a receipt with due dates printed. Harry snatched it.

“Can we wait upstairs now?”

“Sure,” Sirius said. He was suddenly aware of the two staff members behind the desk who were eyeing him and whispering.

They headed upstairs and joined the group of parents and children waiting for Marlene to open the room.

“Hello,” a quiet voice said. Recognizing the voice, Sirius felt his heart give a little jolt. Remus had snaked his way through the crowd.

Sirius felt Harry, apparently still wary of the other man, duck behind his legs. He glanced down and laid a hand on top of Harry’s soft hair.

“Did you still want to meet with me today?” Remus asked.

“Yes,” Sirius said, giving Remus an enthusiastic grin.

“Alright. Would you mind if we were joined by some other people?”

“No,” Sirius said, vaguely wondering who else would be in attendance. Marlene was wandering down the hall though, and Harry was tugging on his hand to urge him forward.

“Thank you. I’ll meet you in our reading room whenever you’re finished here, then.”

Before Sirius had a chance to respond, Remus was gone, striding down the hallway with purpose. One messy signature later, Sirius was joining him. He walked to the set of double doors that led into the reading room. He could make out the murmur of a crowd of voices as he made his way down the little entrance hallway.

Irma was at the large wooden service desk where Sirius had first seen her. Remus was standing off to the side, holding a few folders and carrying what looked like the water-stained copy of the _Astronomia Nova_. He was speaking to a woman in a prim, dark dress with a tight bun. Another group of five or six people was standing near them, chatting away happily.

Remus was the first to see him approach. He sent him a small smile and strode forward, hand outstretched. Sirius shook it. He had a strong grip. Sirius tried to push down the warm, dangerous thoughts that instantly started simmering below the surface. This was, for the moment anyway, strictly business.

“Hello, Mr. Black.”

“Sirius,” he corrected, feeling suddenly very warm.

“Sirius,” Remus said. His smile deepened.

“This is Dr. Minerva McGonagall, the director of the libraries.”

“How do you do?” she asked imperiously, shaking his hand.

“Fine, thank you. How are you?”

“I am very well,” she nodded.

Remus introduced the others, five members of the library board of trustees and a lawyer.

They settled in a conference room, leaving a chair at the head of the table free for Sirius. He took a sip from the glass of water that had been laid out for him. He felt like he was back at work, except the library conference room was filled with a dark wooden table and threadbare upholstered chairs, as opposed to his own sleek glass and metal set.

“So,” Remus said, shuffling some papers out in front of him. He cleared his throat and began speaking. Sirius couldn’t help but notice that, like himself, Remus seemed to have shifted into work-mode.

“Thanks for meeting with us today, Sirius. Your offer to help us purchase a replacement copy of the _Astronomia Nova_ was incredibly generous, but I do want to reiterate that you are definitely not obligated to do so. We understand that what happened was an unfortunate accident.”

Sirius inclined his head in thanks and opened his mouth to reassure the group. Before he could start speaking, though, the library director interrupted.

“We want to be perfectly clear, Mr. Black, that we do not expect anything from you and we certainly don’t hold anything against you for the incident. Your use of the library and its services will absolutely not be impacted should you choose not to help us with the purchase of the _Nova_.”

“Thanks, that’s very much appreciated. But, I want to clarify,” Sirius looked between Remus and Minerva questioningly, “you’ve said ‘help you with the purchase’ of the _Nova_ a few times now. What do you mean?”

Remus gave him a small frown and pulled a manilla folder off of the old book which, Sirius noticed sadly, was noticeably water-damaged. The majority of it looked fine, but the bottom corner seemed to have expanded; the pages were wavy and stiff-looking.

“Well, last we spoke you were asking me about insurance. You mentioned that you wanted to help defray the cost by covering whatever our insurance policy couldn’t. The estimate I have from the-”

“Oh, no. Sorry about that. I forgot I’d mentioned that,” Sirius said, grabbing at the sheet of paper Remus was sliding across from the table. He glanced at it quickly, not bothering to take in the various sums and estimates listed in columns.

“No, I’ve just bought a replacement.”

Remus stared at him for a second.

“You bought the replacement?”

“Yes. I had my antiques broker buy the copy I showed Remus on Monday.”

The rest of the room turned to stare at Remus, who repeated “your antiques broker” in a barely audible mutter under his breath, eyes wide, rifling through his folder for another piece of paper.

“This copy?”

“Yes,” Sirius said, his heart sinking, “is that not the right edition?”

It had just occurred to him that such a rare item might be unique in ways other than just being old and out of print. Perhaps it had been signed by the author, or someone famous had scribbled notes in the margin. He was kicking himself for making such a stupid mistake when Remus interrupted him.

“No,” Remus said quickly, “no, that’s correct. It’s just… you just bought it, straight out?”

“Yes. I’ve asked them to have it couriered here by next week. I’m sorry if that isn’t your usual process for getting donations. I just figured it would be best to get it here as quickly as possible because of the exhibit. I figured I could just donate it, I assume you have some kind of form or…?”

The lawyer, who was seated to Sirius’s right, passed him a sheet of paper.

“This is a standard donation form you can fill out now, but for an item of such high value, I think we’d like to have a more formal agreement on file, if that’s okay with you?”

“Absolutely,” Sirius said, grabbing a pen from his work bag and beginning to fill out the little half-sheet of paper that served as the library’s standard book donation form.

“Well,” Minerva said, looking perplexed, “this is… certainly a smooth process.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw her give Remus a questioning look. He just shrugged. The members of the board looked thrilled.

“So we should talk about donor recognition!” one of the board members said suddenly, clapping her hands together.

“Donor what?” Sirius said distractedly.

“Well, we can certainly honor you at the gala, and we’d be more than happy to include you on our wall of sponsors, and we can even put a bookplate in the item once it arrives--”

“No, no,” he said hurriedly, looking up in alarm, “no. Thank you. But no, please don’t do… any of that.”

He felt his cheeks redden. He looked back down at the donation form, filling it out more slowly now to give himself a distraction.

“You want to donate this item anonymously?” the lawyer said in a business-like tone.

“Yes,” he said, relieved.

“With no other conditions?”

“No, I just want to replace what I damaged, honestly. One time, my kid poured a juice box on a Dr. Seuss book and one of the women at the desk told me I could buy a copy off of amazon to replace it. So, I figured I could sort of repeat that process here, you know?”

“Honest to god, I don’t want any recognition. I just want to replace the old copy of your book. Well, not old as in I’m giving you a new copy... just… Well. You know what I mean,” he finished lamely.

He looked up and surveyed the group again. They were all staring at him, Minerva looking at him shrewdly, as if trying to figure out what he was hiding. Some of the board members were looking at him with something like adoration, some with disbelief.

And then there was Remus, who wasn’t meeting his eye, but was smiling a crooked little secret smile, with a small dimple on one cheek. He was fiddling with a pencil and strumming his fingers lightly on the damaged _Nova_.

Sirius was struck with a strong and unexpected desire to cup the man’s face, sink his fingers into the man’s curls, and kiss him. He suddenly remembered what Irma had said earlier, that the Nova was Remus’s favorite piece in the rare book collection. A wild idea occurred to him. He thought of the juice-stained copy of _Green Eggs and Ham_ that now sat on Harry’s little bookcase, theirs for the keeping after purchasing a brand new copy for the library.

“So, this is a weird question,” Sirius said slowly, “and feel free to tell me no, but would it be possible for me to keep the damaged copy of the book? Obviously not until the new one arrives and you confirm it’s a good replacement or whatever,” he added quickly.

The members of the group all looked around at one another, silently conferring. Minerva frowned.

Remus’s brow was furrowed. Now he was looking at Sirius, and the little smile had vanished. The board of trustees were looking at Minerva, who was looking at Remus, who had glanced back down at the book, brow furrowed.

“Well, that is our policy for damaged items…” Minerva said slowly.

“It’s really fine if you don’t want to part with it,” Sirius reassured them, “I understand that this isn’t a typical case.”

“No, I think that’s fair,” a board member said, “after all, Remus says this copy is in substantially better shape, even prior to the water damage. We hardly need to keep the damaged copy around.”

Minerva looked at Remus, who nodded after a few seconds.

“That’s fine with me,” he said, “it’s ultimately up to you and the board, though.”

Minerva looked at the lawyer and nodded.

“Okay,” the lawyer said briskly, “I’ll include that in the contract as well. So to recap, a standard anonymous donation…. Let’s see… yes, wherein you will forfeit all rights to ownership of said item and understand that once under the ownership of the library, the item may be sold, discarded, or otherwise…”

Sirius nodded along to the legalese and watched Remus surreptitiously for the remainder of the meeting, who had curled his fingers protectively around the corners of the book.

**Friday, 8:37am**

**To:** lupinr@bblib.org  
 **From:** sblack@vbfirm.com  
 **Subject:** Cancelled Meeting

Hi Remus,

I’m sorry for the short notice, but Harry is home sick today, so I won’t be into the library later tonight.

Hopefully I can touch base with you on Monday to sign the contract your lawyer drew up.

Best - S

Sirius Black, M.Arch.  
Vance and Black Architects  
37 Abbott St

**To:** sblack@vbfirm.com  
 **From:** lupinr@bblib.org  
 **Subject:** Re:Cancelled Meeting

Hello Sirius,

No worries. I look forward to seeing you on Monday.

Sincerely,

Remus Lupin, PhD  
Director of Rare Books and Special Collections  
WCPL, Central Branch

**Monday, 2:45pm**

**To:** lupinr@bblib.org  
 **From:** sblack@vbfirm.com  
 **Subject:** Re: re: Cancelled Meeting

Hi Remus,

Sorry, I’ll have to skip our meeting again. Harry’s still under the weather.

See you Wednesday?

S

Sirius Black, M.Arch.  
Vance and Black Architects  
37 Abbott St.

**To:** sblack@vbfirm.com  
 **From:** lupinr@bblib.org  
 **Subject:** Re: re: re: Cancelled Meeting

Hello Sirius,

That’s fine with me. I hope he is feeling better soon.

Sincerely,

Remus Lupin, PhD  
Director of Rare Books and Special Collections  
WCPL, Central Branch

**Wednesday, 4:45pm**

Sirius hadn’t seen Remus while he was waiting for Marlene to unlock the door. He hadn’t seen Dorcas either, and he found himself missing her cheerful greeting. Molly and Sirius had shared a smirk when Marlene had glanced around and glared at the staff door to the Rare Books room, as if surprised and disappointed by her absence.

Sirius, who had planned to finally meet Remus, had knocked on the same staff door a few minutes later, but hadn’t gotten an answer. Finally, he wandered into the reading room, and approached the desk. Dorcas was perched behind it, tapping away on a computer.

“Hey,” he said, giving her a grin, “I missed you in the storytime line today.”

She flushed, “oh, well. I’m covering for Irma.”

“I think Marlene missed you,” he said in a sing-song voice.

“Shut up, she didn’t,” she muttered.

“Actually, she did seem like she was surprised that you weren’t there,” Sirius said truthfully.

When Dorcas looked up again, it was with wide, hopeful eyes, but she quickly shook herself a bit and returned to her professional composure. She straightened a binder in front of her, which held a visitor’s log.

“Are you here to see Remus?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, I’ll just have you sign in here while I call him.”

She picked up a phone on the desk and rang him while Sirius signed his name and wrote the date and time.

“Mhm. Yes. Okay, I’ll send him back.”

Sirius looked at Dorcas with raised eyebrows and pointed to the door that he thought opened to the workroom.

“Through there?”

“Yes!”

“Great, thanks.”

He felt odd, walking into the staff space unattended. As he approached the door, he looked in the small window and noticed that Remus’s office was dark. He pushed open the workroom door and looked around.

Remus was at one of the large workbenches in the middle of the room, carefully looking at an old book. Sirius assumed it was the _Astronomia Nova,_ though he wasn’t sure if it was the damaged copy of not. He knocked softly on the doorframe, and Remus jumped a little.

“Oh! Hello,” he said with a smile, turning back to the book.

“Hi,” Sirius said. He took a few steps towards the workbench slowly, unsure if he was allowed to or not. He stopped and hesitated, but Remus waved him over.

“This came today. It’s amazing,” he breathed.

Sirius walked to his side and joined him in perusing the book. It was lying in a cradle and Remus was paging through it carefully. He angled the cradle towards Sirius and looked at him questioningly.

“Want to take a look?”

Sirius looked at the page, which was old and brittle-looking. He nodded.

“It’s beautiful,” he said, more out of reverence for Remus’s fascination with it than reverence for the object itself.

“You can look through it if you like.”

“Oh, er. Shouldn’t I be wearing gloves or something?”

“No,” Remus said with a smile, “as long as your hands are clean you’ll be fine.”

He paged through the book carefully. It really was quite beautiful.

“Well,” Remus said, stepping away from Sirius and the book to move towards his office, “the contract you’ll need to sign isn’t actually in yet. I can always have it mailed to you, or we can meet again here once it’s in…”

He opened his office door and flicked on the light before looking back apologetically at Sirius.

“I’m sorry, I meant to email you earlier but the book showed up and I completely lost track of time.”

He slipped into his office and returned a few seconds later carrying the damaged book.

“But I can give you this, at least.”

“Oh,” Sirius said.

It suddenly occurred to him that with the contract signed and book delivered, there was very little reason for Remus and Sirius to keep seeing one another. He stared at the book in Remus’s outstretched hands, mind racing.

“You should keep that until I sign the contract,” he said quickly, “probably the best strategy, legally. I’m mean, I’m not going to go back on my agreement or anything but, you know…”

Remus fixed him with an indecipherable look.

“Yes, I suppose I should,” he said slowly.

“Okay,” Sirius nodded. He looked back down at the newly arrived copy of the Nova.

“So can you tell me more about this or do you have to get back to work?”

Remus beamed.

**Two weeks later**   
**Friday, 4:29pm**

Sirius signed Harry in and was back in the hallway just as the storytime was starting. He and Remus had, somehow, decided that the best way to get the contract signed was if Sirius simply dropped in to see Remus every time he was in the library for storytime. Arguably an email would have been much faster, but both men side-stepped the obvious in favor of continued conversation.

There was something there, Sirius was sure of it.

The longer he spent with the man, the more infatuated he was. And he had the distinct feeling that Remus was interested as well. They stuck to mundane topics, almost always related to the library. They were still using the little water damaged book as a pretext for their visits, and so most conversations started with a query from Sirius about the book, the contract, the upcoming exhibit. Sometimes their conversations spiralled off into semi-personal territory and, well, if they happened to get their coffees and teas at the same time, that was just a coincidence.

Sirius was making his way to the reading room when Dorcas popped her head out of the staff door. She had been curiously absent from her usual conveniently-timed bathroom break, and Sirius gave her a wide smile in greeting.

“Hi,” she said brightly, “I’m actually covering for Irma on the desk so I can’t talk long. I just wanted to pop out to say Remus is out today. I figured you’d be coming in to see him.”

“Oh,” Sirius said, disappointment flooding his body, “okay.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know if he had emailed you or not. He got a call at lunch from his mum and he had to rush off, so I think he was in a bit of a panic.”

“Yeah, no, he didn’t email,” Sirius said, “is everything okay?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t really want to ask.”

“Right, I understand,” Sirius said, “Well...I’m guessing the contract isn’t in yet?”

“The contract?” Dorcas asked, a puzzled look on her face.

“The library had a lawyer draw up a contract for the donation.”

“Oh! Gotcha. Uh, I don’t know anything about that,” she said, but a look of realization dawned on her face, “but actually, now that I think of it an envelope did come today and I think it’s from the firm that represents the libraries.”

“Oh, well,” Sirius was thinking fast, “you probably don’t want to open his mail, so…”

“No,” she said with a broad grin, “I guess you’ll just have to come back next week.”

“I suppose I will.”

“Mhm,” she hummed, her smile deepening.

“What’s that look about?” asked Sirius, who was slightly annoyed, very flushed, and knowing precisely what that look was about.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Oh bugger off,” he murmured, coughing to cover his embarrassment, “I’m going to get coffee. Do you want anything?”

She brightened and pulled out a wallet. Her syrupy, almond-milky, foamy latte was complicated enough that she offered to text it to him. As he punched his phone number into her mobile, it occurred to him vaguely that Harry wasn’t the only one making friends during storytime.

**Monday, 4:25pm**

Harry ran up the stairs and stopped short at the top, looking back at Sirius with an uncharacteristically chagrined face. Sirius, who was only half-way up the stairs called up to him.

“What’s wrong, Har?”

“Nothing,” Harry mumbled, but he bounced quickly back down the steps and stood at Sirius’s side.

As they crested the top of the stairs, Sirius saw Remus standing a few feet away, his back to the stairs.

“Oh, Harry,” he muttered, choosing to ignore the fact that Harry still seemed mildly traumatized by the man Sirius was plucking up the courage to ask for dinner.

Dorcas and Molly were standing near him talking, the three of them at the back of the little cluster of parents and children waiting outside the meeting room door.

“Oh hello, dear! We were just talking about you,” Molly said brightly.

“Me? Or…?” he pointed down to Harry, brows furrowed.

“No, no. You. Dorcas was just asking if you were planning on attending the gala for the exhibit opening. I’m sure the library would be happy to give you tickets. It’s a fundraiser, you know, fifty dollars a plate or four hundred for a table of ten, but they’re giving all their volunteers tickets. Arthur and I are so excited to have a night free. We’ve gotten my brothers to babysit, you know. They would be happy to watch Harry, if you’d like. We could make a little playdate for the kids.”

She looked around to find Ron and Ginny, and pointed them out to Harry.

“Ron’s just over there, love.”

Harry bounded off in excitement and Molly rounded back on Sirius, eyes blazing with excitement.

“I was thinking it would be just perfect, you know? We have Remus, Dorcas, Irma, and Irma’s husband, then there’s me and Arthur so that’s six. There’s another couple that volunteers here teaching ballroom dancing, that’s Alice and Frank, who are coming to make eight. Marlene, of course, we’ll bring along. And you! And that makes ten for a table, so really it’s all set.”

“Oh. Um,” Sirius looked around bewildered. Remus was looking as uncomfortable as he felt.

“I suppose that’s okay. When is it and… well, I don’t know anything about it, really....”

“Sorry,” he added, quickly, glancing around at the staff members.

“Remus will tell you all about it, I’m sure,” Molly said.

Sirius glanced at Remus, who offered him a small, if perplexed, smile.

“I’ll initial for you, so you don’t have to sign Harry in, dear.”

“Oh, thanks.”

He stood there, unsure of himself for a second, then turned to Remus.

“So, contract in yet?”

“Yes, actually,” Remus said, “do you want to…?”

He nodded towards his office and Sirius pushed through the crowd, following him.

“So, I guess I’m coming to your gala,” Sirius said, as Remus swiped open the staff door.

“Apparently so,” Remus murmured.

They settled in Remus’s office, where the contract was laying on top of a manilla envelope.

“Marlene was also shanghaied into attending,” Remus said as he shut the door behind Sirius, “but I apologize for the ambush.Molly and Dorcas have become friends apparently, and… well, I’m sure you can get out of it.”

“No! I’m happy to come,” Sirius said quickly.

“Alright,” Remus said, still looking unsure.

He sat down at his desk and pushed the contract towards Sirius. It had several sticky labels flagging the various places he should sign. He skimmed over the contract, which basically just said he couldn’t ask for the book back and couldn’t complain if the library did something with it that he didn’t like. He signed quickly, then looked up at Remus with a smile.

For Sirius, it seemed all too final. This would be the perfect time to ask him for a drink. Or dinner. Or something. But would it be too strange if Remus said no, and then they were forced to see one another in the hallway? Or at the gala?

But certainly Remus wouldn’t say no. Well, Sirius was reasonably certain that Remus wouldn’t say no. But maybe…

And even if he said yes, what if it went badly? Would Sirius want to stop coming to the library? He couldn’t do that to Harry.

And Harry. He didn’t even like Remus. But that was something he’d get over. It’s not like Remus would be coming around his house for a long time, even if dinner went okay.

But what if - ?

“I suppose you’ll want the book now,” Remus said, flinging Sirius out of his hypothetical frenzy.

“What?”

“The _Nova_?” he pushed the book, which had been sitting on the corner of his desk, towards Sirius.

“Oh. Right.”

He didn’t take it.

“I actually wanted you to have it,” Sirius said slowly.

“You changed your mind?” Remus said with a frown.

Sirius frowned.

“What?”

“You don’t want this copy?” Remus said, tapping the cover of the original _Nova_.

“No, I do. I just want to… give it to you now.”

“But…” Remus’s eyebrows were drawn together in confusion, “you’ve just donated the new copy. Why did you ask to keep this one if-”

“No, I don’t want to give it to the library. I just want to give it to you.”

Remus simply stared at him, lips parting after a second to ask a question, but apparently unable to form the words.

“Irma said it was your favorite piece in the collection,” Sirius explained, ”So I want you to have it.”

“You can donate it back here, though. Obviously. I mean you can do whatever you want with it. It’ll be kind of a crazy paper-trail, I guess. I probably should’ve told you what I was planning so you could tell me not to waste my time.”

He pressed his lips together, willing himself to stop rambling. Remus was still looking at him in confusion.

Finally: “I can’t… it’s… it’s too much.”

“No, it isn’t. I want you to have it.”

“Are you sure? It’s… no, I can’t. Take it, you paid for it,” Remus said, pushing towards him once again.

“No, I’m completely sure,” Sirius said, pushing it back, “I don’t know anything about books, so it’d be wasted on me. Plus I have a five year old at home. We couldn't even handle a Dr. Seuss without a juice explosion. This would be far too dangerous."

Remus grasped the book and looked at it for a while before finally conceding.

“Alright,” he said softly, still looking at the book, “thank you.”

Sirius smiled.

“So tell me about this gala,” he said.

Remus took a few seconds before he snapped back to reality.

“Oh, god,” he groaned, “it will be awful.”

Sirius laughed, delighted by the man’s sudden change in demeanor.

“It can’t be that bad,” he said.

“It will be, I promise. It’s a bunch of board members and snobby rich people… er, sorry. But you’re not snobby,” he waved a hand dismissively, “it’s just these people who want to be seen being charitable towards intellectual pursuits, but literally don’t want to have anything to do with us otherwise. And there’s just so many people we have to talk to and be kind to, and it’s crowded and late, and… well. It’s awful.”

Sirius’s eyebrows were raised and his face had split into a wide grin.

“Not particularly sociable, are you Dr. Lupin?” he teased.

“No,” Remus said grumpily, “really, you don’t have to come.”

“Ah, well now I have to. I can’t live the rest of my life not knowing what Remus Lupin looks like when forced into social gatherings.”

Remus threw him a dirty look, which was undercut by the slight smile that was creeping through.

“It’ll be better if you’re there, I think,” he said quietly.

Sirius smiled broadly.

“I hope so,” he said.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wednesday, 4:16pm**

“Why are we so early? Can we go back downstairs to look at books? I want to look at books. I think I want three books this week. Dad, can I get three books this week, Dad? _Dad_?”

Sirius felt a tug on his suit jacket. He looked down at Harry, then scooped him up.

“Sorry, love. I didn’t hear all of that,” he said, pressing a kiss to the side of Harry’s head.

“You weren’t listening, you mean,” Harry chided.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. I wasn’t listening and that isn’t nice. Can you start again?”

“I said I wanted three books.”

“Oh, well that’s fine. We can pick three books out after storytime, okay?”

“Not before?”

“No, I think we should wait up here, okay?”

Harry dropped his head on Sirius’s shoulder and sighed. Sirius felt his warm breath on the side of neck and felt a surge of affection for his godson. Feeling guilty - because really, the only reason he wanted to wait upstairs was for the off-chance that he might see Remus - he stooped down to lower Harry to the floor.

This is exactly what he was nervous about. Exactly why he didn’t date. Did he really want to neglect Harry for some useless, pointless man that would end up meaning nothing to him? But Remus wasn’t nothing. Remus was…

He sighed.

“Okay, you’re right, we have a few minutes. Let’s go downstairs.”

Harry beamed up at him and picked up his little backpack, which was leaning against the wall. He raced down the stairs.

“Harry, no running!” he called, bending to pick up his own work bag.

“You’re early today.”

He turned to see Remus, hands in his pockets, standing behind him, wearing a soft smile and a large cardigan.

“Oh, er, yes. Early enough that Harry has decided it’s time to browse for books.”

Remus's smile deepened, eyes crinkling, “it’s _always_ time to browse for books,” he said in a teasing voice.

“I know, I know,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. _God, how did Remus manage to make even that sound hot?_

He started making his way downstairs and Remus followed. They exchanged pleasantries, just standard how-are-you-fine-thankses, until Sirius reached the children’s section. He hesitated, unwilling to be apart from Harry, but also not wanting to appear rude.

“I’m just heading to the cafe,” Remus explained, talking a few steps away from Sirius, walking backwards to keep talking to him, “can I get you anything? I owe you.”

“Oh! Er. Sure,” Sirius said, one eye on Harry. He wanted to follow his godson, so he was unwilling to argue the point that Remus owed him something, “an earl gray? Black, no sugar.”

“Sure. I’ll find you in here in a couple of minutes.”

“Okay,” Sirius said faintly to Remus’s retreating back. He walked a few more steps into the brightly colored children’s section.

“Look how big this is!” Harry said, running up to him, holding out a giant board book for Sirius to look at.

“That is amazing!” Sirius said, crouching down to view it, “do you think we should take this one, though? It’s a bit too easy for you. I think you can read harder books than that.”

Harry gave him a speculative look, but toddled away, carting the enormous book behind him.

Sirius made his way over to the shelves, watching Harry tear through them in search of a suitable book. He crouched down to put the books back in order as Harry discarded them.

“This one has a dragon! And so does this one!” Harry thrust two books in Sirius’s hands. He sat down heavily on the floor and flipped through them. He glanced at his watch.

“Just a couple more minutes, okay?”

“Okay.”

A pair of corduroy-clad trousers swum into view. He smiled up at Remus and stood up, taking the tea from him.

“Thanks.”

“Sure.”

Harry turned around and eyed Remus warily.

“Harry, can you say hello to Mr. Lupin?”

Harry nodded, but didn’t speak.

“Sorry,” Sirius said, embarrassed.

“It’s alright. Can I…?” he mimed crouching down and Sirius nodded. He crouched down, balancing on his loafers. He was still a good three feet away from Harry. He held out a hand solemnly. Harry, looking unsure, took and shook. Sirius nodded encouragingly at him.

“Hi, Harry, right?”

Harry nodded.

‘It’s nice to meet you. I’m Remus. I’m so sorry I hurt your lip the other week. It was an accident. Can you forgive me?”

Harry nodded, looking up at Sirius for confirmation, who nodded again. He felt a big, goofy smile lighting up his face.

“It’s okay. I forgive you,” he muttered shyly.

“Thank you, Harry. Maybe if your dad says it’s okay I can buy you a cookie sometime to say sorry again.”

“Oh!” Harry breathed, glancing up excitedly.

“If you’re good, maybe next week, okay?”

“Okay!”

“Okay, now did you want to get one more book?”

Harry nodded and scooted off among the shelves.

Sirius smiled at Remus, who had returned to eye level. He was a few inches taller than Sirius’s six feet.

“You’re good with kids. Should have been a children’s librarian.”

Remus laughed, “I’m okay with them one on one, but when they gang up on you…” he gave him a meaningful stare as Ron and Ginny Weasley came flying through the section, followed by a harassed looking Molly.

“I told you, _no_! We don’t have time right now, Ronald. Oh! Hello boys!” she beamed at Sirius and Remus, “why are you down here, Remus?”

Remus opened his mouth to answer, but Molly waved him off.

“Nevermind, nevermind. There’s only a few more minutes before the class, and... Ron, Ginny! You may pick one book each if you hurry up.”

“Harry’s getting three!”

“That’s because Harry didn’t throw the cat into the shower and make _his_ father late, isn’t it?” She offered the men a fleeting what-can-you-do smile and hurried off after the children to help them pick out their books.

“I can’t even imagine keeping up with her,” Remus said.

“How many kids does she have, do you know?”

“Six or seven, I think? I know Marlene’s been here for about ten years and I think she’s had most of them at one time or another.”

“Wow,” Sirius said emphatically.

“I know.”

“This is the last one!” Harry declared, approaching Sirius with his third and final book. Sirius grabbed it and glanced at the cover.

“Oh, more dragons?”

“No! That’s a dinosaur, Dad.”

“Oh, well, pardon me,” Sirius said teasingly.

“Can I check them out?”

“Sure thing,” Sirius said, pulling out his wallet to get the library card.

“Are you sure I can’t pay for the tea?”

“No, don’t worry about it.”

Ron and Ginny zoomed past, their own books held high above their heads. Harry ran after them to the self-checkout machine just outside of the children’s section.

“Harry!” Sirius called, “you need the books to… ah well, he’ll figure out when he gets there.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus smiling.

“Did he choose good ones?”

“Ah, so not _every_ book is sacred, then?”

Remus snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Well let’s see he has _When a Dragon Moves In_ , _Rise of the Earth Dragon_ , and _The Little Green Goose_ … which is not a goose and looks like a dragon, but is actually, apparently, a dinosaur. As you can see he's more interested in a certain theme than finding something age approp…. appropriate…”

Sirius trailed off with a frown. He was flipping through the final book, which looked like a picture book that was a bit too easy for Harry. It was a story about a father who wanted to raise a son on his own and found a dinosaur egg to hatch. He shuffled it to the bottom of the stack and swallowed, looking up at Remus with a forced smile.

Remus was looking at him with slight concern, but he was kind enough not to press. They had reached the self-checkout and Sirius was spared the awkwardness of the silence.

“Okay! Let’s hurry up so we can get upstairs before storytime, alright?”

Harry grabbed the books happily and stood on a tiny step stool, scanning his card carefully with a look of immense concentration.

“Remus, do you have a minute?” A woman’s voice called. Both Remus and Sirius glanced up. Minerva gave him a fleeting smile, then looked expectantly at Remus.

“Sure,” he turned back to Sirius, “I’ll see you.”

“Mhm,” Sirius hummed affirmatively and turned back to help Harry.

He stayed in the cafe for the rest of the storytime. He didn’t want to bother Remus without a reason. He had stood in the hallway awkwardly for a minute or two, trying to come up with a last minute question about the gala, but he had nothing. He had been using it as pretext to talk to the man, albeit an extremely flimsy one. But without anything to ask him, he was forced to consider the fact that he was, more or less, a stranger interrupting a man’s work three times a week.

He made his way back towards the cafe sadly, slipping Harry’s books into his work bag as he went. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through it aimlessly for the next hour or so, staring mindlessly at the screen while he thought about various ways to ask Remus out.

He wanted to wait until after the gala, he knew that for sure. He had been incredibly close to asking him to dinner on the night he had given him the damaged copy of the Nova, mainly because Remus had looked so happy and so lovely. But it had seemed far too much like a hostage negotiation: here’s a lovely £230,000 present, now agree to date me. No, that wouldn’t do.

And the more he considered it, the more he had wondered if he should ask him out at all. He wouldn’t ruin visits to the library for Harry, no matter how deep his infatuation for the man was. Plus Harry was still a little gun-shy around Remus because of the whole door thing, but the promise of a cookie seemed to be mending that up nicely. Still. So much could go so wrong.

But, as his therapist reminded him, he had to be happy, too. He just wished he could be happy with someone located firmly outside of the zone of Harry’s school, his extracurricular activities, his doctor, his dentist, the grocery store, the neighborhood park… essentially anywhere Harry went.

Which left him with online dating. Which wasn’t going to happen. So he was back at square one.

He felt a fair compromise was to wait until Remus and he had finished up the gala business so he could be sure Remus didn’t feel any obligation towards him. Plus, Harry’s storytime would be wrapping up before the holidays and Sirius wasn’t sure what the spring storytime schedule would be. Maybe he wouldn’t have to see Remus at all, then.

He felt his chest clench at the thought. He didn’t want to stop seeing Remus. He wanted to see him more. He sighed, realizing it was nearly time to pick Harry up, and made his way upstairs. Marlene had already propped the door open and parents were milling around when Sirius reached the meeting room. He peeked his head inside and saw Harry playing with Ron and Ginny in the far corner of the room, while Molly was clearing up craft supplies. He waved and Harry gave a little wave back, but didn’t come over to Sirius. The three children were inseparable, and Sirius had taken to letting Harry stay fifteen minutes or so after the story time to let them play.

“Hello! Ready for the big event on Friday?”

Sirius smiled warmly at Marlene, who was wandering over to the open doorway, wiping her hands clean of glitter and glue with a moist toilette.

“I suppose so,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“It’ll be fun, I think. I’ve only been to a few of the fancy parties they’ve thrown, but they were great.”

“Really? Remus says they’re always terrible.”

“Oh, well, if _Remus_ says they’re terrible…” she spread her hands and gave him a broad grin.

He opened his mouth, flustered, but closed it and dropped his head to stare at his feet, hiding a hint of a smile and his flushed face.

“You’re both idiots,” she huffed.

“Oh like you can talk! You and Dorcas meeting in the hallway every other day, I swear-”

He stopped speaking when he realized she had stiffened next to him.His heart-sank, and he was suddenly horrified at the idea that he had misstepped, or worse, outed Dorcas. The latter had a rainbow tote bag with an “ask me about my sexuality” pin on it, but it occurred to him now that he had never actually received confirmation that she was out to everyone.

He looked up at Marlene with a frown and opened his mouth to apologize profusely, but to his delight, a wide smile was spreading over her face.

“You think…? I mean, do you know if Dorcas is interested?”

“Oh my god, you almost gave me a heart attack. I thought I had accidentally outed her.”

“Dorcas? Oh no, you’re fine. Although, good point, you jerk.”

She slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

“You are interested in her as well, aren’t you?” he whispered.

“Christ, yes. Since she started about a year ago and I’ve gotten to know her. Oh my god, she’s just…” she sighed happily.

“Well, I’m pretty sure it’s mutual.”

Marlene was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet slightly, staring off into the distance with a frown.

“But isn't it a terrible idea? We work together…”

Sirius just shrugged, “I’m the last person you want to give you relationship advice.”

Marlene hummed speculatively, still lost in thought. Just then, the staff door from the rare books office opened and Dorcas slipped out, dressed in a warm coat and carrying her patented rainbow bag.

“Oh! Hi, Sirius,” she said, waving to Sirius.

She turned to Marlene and smiled, “have a nice night, Marlene.”

She walked the rest of the way down the hallway, reaching the top of the stairs. Marlene took a few steps towards her retreating back and called out.

“Dorcas. Wait. I uh, have a question. About tomorrow night.”

“Oh sure,” Dorcas said, stopping at the top of the staircase.

Marlene turned back to Sirius with a wild-eyed look and whispered, “what am I doing!?”

“Go!” he whispered, pushing her and laughing.

“So, I was wondering if you were bringing anyone tomorrow…” he heard her begin.

He ducked inside the room, still smiling.

“Come on, Harry! Let’s get you in your jacket, okay?”

“Okay,” Harry sighed, and he resignedly put away a few of the plastic toys the Weasleys and he were playing with.

Molly smiled gratefully at him, and he had the impression she had been fighting the battle solo for a while now. He grabbed Harry’s jacket from the coat rack and pulled the mittens out from the pockets. Harry trundled over, carrying a little dog sock puppet decorated with a pink nose and floppy dog ears.

“Um, dad?”

“Hm?”

“Can we get a dog?”

Sirius chuckled as he helped Harry into his coat.

“I don’t think so, Harry. We’re not home enough to take care of one.”

“We’re home all the time!” Harry protested.

“A dog can’t go more than six or seven hours without someone home. Think about how long you’re at school. And we come right from school to story time, don’t we? So a poor little dog would be alone for a long time.”

“Hm, I guess. You could always take him to work with you, though,” Harry reasoned.

“Well see,” Sirius said, eager to end the discussion before Harry tried to reason him into getting a dog - which, truth be told, he had always wanted.

“Okay, mittens on? Hat? Good. Go say goodbye to Ron and Ginny and meet me in the hallway, okay?”

As he made it to the open door he was waylaid by Marlene, who flung her arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

“Ah! I’m so happy!”

“I told you,” Sirius said, spitting a few strands of long blond hair out of his mouth.

“I love you,” she said, pulling back and kissing him on the cheek.

He took a step back from her embrace, leaving his hands on her shoulders, laughing. She was holding onto his forearms and giving them a happy little squeeze. Behind her blond hair, Sirius saw Remus pulling his staff door shut behind him, a little frown on his face.

“I cannot wait for tomorrow,” she said, “so here’s the plan…”

Remus was hurrying down the hallway before Sirius could slip out of Marlene’s grasp. What would he even say if he could catch up to him? Hello again? Have a nice night? He turned his attention back to Marlene.

“...because obviously a work event would be a terrible first date, so we’re considering it like the pre-game,” she laughed breathlessly, “I think it’ll be really great, though.”

“Yeah, yes,” Sirius said quickly, covering for his distraction, “that sounds awesome.”

“Did I hear you correctly?” Molly said, sidling up to the pair with all three children in tow.

“Are you and Dorcas finally going out together?”

“Yes! To a show after the gala tomorrow night. We’re going to sneak out early.”

Molly beamed, switching off the lights and pulling the door shut behind her.

“About time!” she laughed, “now just one more to go.”

**Friday, 7:06pm**

Sirius handed the valet his keys and slipped the small paper ticket the bored teenager thrust into his hands in his coat pocket. He made his way into a new part of the library. He was accustomed to entering from the east side, where the majority of the books and meeting rooms were. However, the traffic attendant had directed him to the opposite side of the building. He had pulled his car around a long looped driveway that led up to the west entrance. A large stone staircase led up to a set of elegant double doors.

This side of the building was quite different from the steel and glass addition he was used to. He frowned, the architect in him dissatisfied with the uneven nature of the space. Though, he thought, looking around the stone entryway, the lack of natural light in the original portion of the building wasn’t conducive to a library setting. Still, he would’ve…

“Hello, Mr. Black.”

Minerva McGonagall was standing off to the side, a few feet from the coat check that Sirius was heading to.

“Hello, Dr. McGonagall.”

“How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you.”

He handed his coat over and took another paper ticket, slipping his one into his jacket pocket.

“I’ll show you where our table is, so you can avoid the greeters.”

She took his elbow and steered him firmly through the crowd.They passed through a large stone archway and into an open exhibit hall. There were several glass exhibit cases lined up around the sides of the room, evidently pushed there to leave the center of the room open for dozens of round tables, all decked out with floral centerpieces and fine china. A podium was set up at the front of the room, flanked on either side by two larger display cases.

They approached their table, which was at the front of the room adjacent to the podium.

“Were just here,” Minerva said, patting the back of one of the chairs at the table. Name cards were propped up above each plate. He glanced around for his, but it was evidently on the opposite side of the table.

“Minerva!” a voice called out.

“Duty calls, I’m afraid,” she said under her breath, plastering on a smile and heading over to a blond, unpleasant looking man.

Sirius did a double take. Was that…? It _was_. Lucius Malfoy.

He cursed under his breath and spun around, trying to find something to distract himself with. His eyes landed on the bar to the left and the display cases just in front of him.

Bar first, he figured, if Malfoy - or worse, _Narcissa_ \- was skulking around.

He stood in line for the bar, glancing around covertly to see if he recognized anyone else from his late parents’ social circle. Sure enough, he found Narcissa quickly, speaking to someone who had the large, distinct body type of a Crabbe. He groaned. How stupid of him to not consider the fact that his family, parasitic monsters though they were, loved attending this type of event to make themselves seem charitable and intellectual.

“Horrible for you already, then?” a laughing voice whispered in his ear, “yet another reason you and Remus are destined to be together.”

“Hello, Marlene,” he said in a low voice, turning to greet the librarian.

She was in a long black dress, with one of her brightly colored shawls wrapped around her shoulders. It had some type of cartoon animal on it that looked vaguely familiar; Sirius was sure he had the scarf at a storytime before.

“What is this?” he asked, plucking at the scarf.

“It’s a super classy _Where the Wild Things Are_ silk screen,” she gushed, “Isn’t that neat?”

Sirius laughed, “very on brand.”

“I know, right. I love that I can basically wear anything I want even to a fancy dinner and no one can say anything because it’s my job.”

Sirius snorted, then, remembering asked, “how’s Dorcas?”

“Amazing,” she said, glowing, “she’s off talking to some donor. You know, our beautiful dates are going to be working all night, right?”

“Remus isn’t my date,” he said stiffly.

“Only because you’re too chicken.”

He sighed, looking around for the man in question wistfully.

“Hey, sorry,” she said, slipping an arm around his waist and giving him a squeeze, “I didn’t mean to pry or anything. I’m sure it’s hard with a kid…”

“Yeah it’s… it’s…” he spotted Remus across the room and smiled, “it is hard. But I think…”

_God, he looked good in a suit._

“Oh my god,” Marlene sighed, following his eyeline, “you’re so distracted. What do you want to drink?”

“Huh?”

“We’re up,” she said, poking him in the back. He had just caught Remus’s eye and given him a wave. Remus returned it with a small, if unenthusiastic, wave of his own.

“Oh shit,” he said, stumbling up to the bar, “gin and tonic, thanks.”

He slipped a few dollars into the tip jar and looked around for Remus, but the man was gone. He searched for another minute or so, while the bartender was making the drinks. Then saw Remus talking to a group of people by one of the displays in the front, gesturing to an item in the case.

“Okay, I’ve got mine. Ready? We can go join the lecture,” she said, nodding to Remus.

“Sure,” he said, suddenly a bit nervous.

They made their way over to Remus, who was standing just in front of their table, speaking to a group of people in expensive suits and dresses.

“... any other questions, feel free to ask,” Remus was finishing up.

He had apparently been ambushed by the group en route to his chair, because instead of actually waiting to see if anyone had questions for him, he turned disinterestedly from the people and walked a few steps back to the table to peer at the name cards.

Marlene split off to the second display case on the other side of the podium, where Dorcas was chatting animatedly with yet another group of socialites, while Sirius sidled up to Remus.

“I think you’re here,” Sirius said, pointing.

“Oh, thanks,” Remus said, finally looking up at Sirius. His eyes flickered over Sirius quickly and he swallowed, turning quickly back to look at the name cards.

Sirius was standing a few feet away from Remus, in front of Marlene’s place, pointing at Remus’s name card two places away. Their side of the table held Dorcas, then Marlene, then Remus, then Sirius.

“Did you want to switch Marlene and I?” Remus asked quietly, picking up the two cards.

Sirius frowned at the table.

“Uh, no. Unless you wanted to?”

“Aren’t… the two of you are here together, aren’t you?”

“Marlene and I?” Sirius said in surprise, “No!”

Remus looked up at him with equal surprise, and maybe the smallest glimmer of hope.

He laughed.

“No, god, no. She’s here with...well, "Sirius gestured towards the pair.

“I didn’t know. Huh,” he turned to look at them. Marlene had joined Dorcas and was now shaking hands with some of the group. Dorcas had surreptitiously rested a hand on the small of her back.

“I’m happy they’ve worked it out,” Remus said with a little smile.

“Me too,” Sirius said with a laugh, “Molly and I’ve been rooting for them.”

“Ah, and here I thought Molly was trying to set you up with Marlene. When she was hugging you yesterday…”

He trailed off, and Sirius tried hard not to read too much into the wistfulness in his voice.

“She was excited because I’d pushed her to ask Dorcas out.”

“Oh! So this is recent?” Remus said, gesturing to the women.

“Very,” Sirius said.

Remus was still watching them, a contemplative smile on his lips. Sirius took a few sips from his gin and tonic, bracing himself. He cleared his throat and moved closer to Remus.

“Molly has actually been, uh, trying to set _us_ up, I think.”

Remus didn’t respond, but he looked at Sirius intensely for a few seconds before breaking eye contact.

Sirius took another, longer, sip from his drink.

Remus fiddled with the name cards, before dropping them back in their original places. He cleared his throat.

“Oh.”

“Mhm,” Sirius said, now trying to come up with anything to distract him from the growing - and hideously awkward - silence.

“Sorry,” he said after another second of quiet.

“No, don’t be sorry," Remus said quickly, eyes wide, "I didn’t expect you to say that, that’s all. I… well…”

He looked down at Sirius, lips parted to say something.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sirius said quickly, “I’m not-”

He stopped himself, because he didn’t know where he was headed with that sentence. I’m not expecting anything to come out of this? I’m not hoping you’ve fallen for me as hard as I’ve fallen for you?

Remus’s face fell, and a horrible thought occurred to him. What if Remus thought he was going to say I’m not _interested_?

He had just opened his mouth to clarify when a harassed looking Minerva sidled up to Remus and laid a hand on his forearm, clutching tight enough to wrinkle his suit jacket.

“Would you please come and speak with Dolores with me?” she asked with a forced smile.

Remus looked helplessly at Sirius for a moment before turning to Minerva.

“What?”

“Dolores,” Minerva snapped in a whisper, looking around, “she wants to speak to you and I.”

“Why?” Remus said in a panicked whisper, trying to prise Minerva’s hand off his arm.

“She wants to pre-approve your speech.”

“Speech?” Remus said faintly, “it’s not a speech. It’s an introduction at most… it’s like a minute long.”

“Well, whatever it is, she wants to hear it.”

Minerva glanced at Sirius, who was watching with a puzzled frown.

“Dolores is the head of our arts and culture council. She’s very…” she glanced around again, “difficult.”

Her nostrils flared and she marched Remus off, both of them looking miserable. Sirius dropped down onto his chair and watched the pair as they made their way to the back of the hall, then disappeared through a doorway. He looked around the room, more for something to do than out of any real interest. He was only here because Remus was.

He sighed and finished his drink in a single drag. Marlene and Dorcas were still chatting happily by the second display case. Molly and Arthur had yet to arrive. Ginny had been having a meltdown when Sirius left their home after dropping Harry off, so he wasn’t surprised that they were late.

“Hello,” said a woman’s voice. He snapped his head up to see a blond woman with a round, smiling face sinking into a chair across from him.

“Hi,” he said, taking her in. She looked vaguely familiar.

“Hiya,” a man chirped happily, sinking into the seat next to her. He also looked familiar.

“Here you go, hun,” he said, sliding a glass of wine to the woman.

“Hi,” Sirius said again, standing up and leaning over the table to extend his hand, “I’m Sirius, it’s nice to meet you…?”

“Frank Longbottom,” he said, shaking heartily. The name stirred something in Sirius's memory.

“And I’m Alice Longbottom,” the woman said, shaking his hand as well. She was surveying him in a way that plainly said she too was trying to place Sirius’s face.

“Sirius _Black_ , right?” she said finally.

“Yes”

“James Potter’s friend?”

“Yes,” he said again slowly, as he began mentally scanning through the buried memories from a happier time, “You had a son Harry’s age, right?”

“Yes!” Alice said, “Neville.”

“Neville, right. Born right around Harry, no?”

“Just the day before,” Frank said.

“That’s right,” Sirius said, recalling the weekend of Harry’s birth, when Lily had joked about being beaten to the punch by the friend in her pre-natal yoga class.

“How have you two been?” Alice said, with the sympathetic head tilt he had become accustomed to from those who spoke to him about the Potters’ deaths. He hadn’t seen it in a while, because he had generally cut ties with anyone from his Before Life.

“I’m okay. Harry’s good. How’s Neville?” he deflected the question back to their child, eager to get them talking about something other than his best friends’ deaths.

“Oh he’s marvelous. Getting ready for Year One next fall. Any idea where you’re sending Harry? Or are you staying with your current school?”

Sirius just shrugged.

“Oh, well we’re thinking about…”

They chatted about schools, about the merits of after school programs versus nannies, about nutritious lunches and library programs and all of the other, safe topics parents could stick to. Molly and Arthur eventually showed up and contributed their expansive knowledge to the subject. It was getting closer to dinner time. Remus would give introductory remarks, some others would speak while salad was served, and then Remus would be next to him for dinner.

Thinking about the prospect of Remus rejoining him made him nervous, excited, giddy, terrified. Sirius excused himself to the bar, which would be closed during the duration of dinner. The queue had grown in anticipation. He shifted on his feet, alternating between staring at his phone and keeping his eyes fixed on the door Remus had disappeared through earlier.

“Excuse me,” a voice murmured near him. He saw the vague shape of a body trying to push through the thick queue of people, brushing past the pair of women just in front of him. The woman took a step back, one of their purses knocking into Sirius’s phone gently, so that the man could pass.

As he passed, Sirius glanced up at the man and felt his blood run cold.

Regulus had just walked past him.

He stared open mouthed at his brother’s retreating back. There was no mistaking him, even after all of this time. He was an inch or so shorter than Sirius, and his hair was still kept neat and trimmed. But they had the same stature, the same gliding walk, the same rigid posture that had been trained into them.

“Sir?”

The woman behind him tapped him on the shoulder and he began breathing once again.

“What?” he asked breathlessly.

The woman just pointed forward, and Sirius saw that the queue had moved on without him.

“Oh, sorry,” he muttered. He took a few big steps forward, then glanced around wildly for Regulus again. He couldn’t see him.

“Gin and tonic, thanks,” Sirius said when it was his turn to order, “double.”

He wandered to the end of the bar to wait for the bartender to make his drink. Remus had returned from back and was hovering halfway between the podium and their table, speaking to Minerva. His eyes flickered away from the man, searching the crowd for his brother.

And there he was, making his way towards the table just behind Sirius’s, where Luicius and Narcissa were sitting with a few other Black cousins. Of course the whole family was here. They’d be anywhere they could spend an exorbitant amount of money to show off how intellectual, how classy, how utterly pretentious they were, all without giving a rat’s ass what the cause was. He remembered Remus’s distaste for events like this, remembered how he specifically disliked being forced to interact with snobs who didn’t care about his work. He wondered how many members of his family had caused him misery.

The tinkle of glass and ice brought him back to his senses. He grabbed his drink from the bartender and stuffed some money in the tip jar, not bothering to check which bill he pulled from his wallet. From the man’s stunned face he was guessing it was a lot.

The lights were dimming and people began to retreat to their seats. He heard the bartender apologize to the people still in line, trying to get the last few orders from the women behind him, while turning the rest away.

Sirius took a long, winding route to his table, keeping one eye on Regulus. He had stopped to speak to someone at a table just a few from his own. He and Regulus were two of just a handful of people standing now.

_Fuck._

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

He gritted his teeth and walked towards his table, trying to keep his eyes averted from the Blacks and his still-standing brother.

A short, squat woman was standing at the podium now. Remus had sunk into his seat, clutching a piece of paper that was presumably his remarks. On one side of Remus was Sirius’s empty seat. On the other was Minerva, also clutching a paper. Sirius kept his eyes fixed on his empty chair. Remus had spotted him and was watching him now, a little smile on his face. Perhaps he hadn’t ruined his chance earlier, after all. He tried to smile back, but he imagined it looked forced, pained.

He was nearing the Black table.

Ten feet.

Passing it now.

Five feet to his own hair.

“Sirius?” Regulus hissed, sounding as surprised to see him as Sirius was to see Regulus.

Sirius tried to ignore him. Regulus was facing Sirius, his back to Sirius’s table. Looking past Regulus’s face, he saw Remus looking puzzled as Sirius tried to ignore his brother.

“Sirius,” he hissed again, clutching his arm as Sirius tried to walk past. Sirius stopped and pressed his eyes shut in a silent prayer.

“Yes?” he gritted out.

Regulus gaped at him.

“What are you doing here?” he hissed, though it wasn’t unkind. Sirius noticed he kept his voice low, trying not to be overheard. Regulus was watching Sirius’s table, many of whom were eyeing the pair with interest.

Sirius glanced quickly at the Black table. He saw his cousin Bellatrix, whose glittering eyes were fixed on Sirius. Narcissa was next to her whispering to Lucius, who had a nasty expression on his face. Sirius pulled his gaze away and focused it back on his brother, who looked nervous.

“Sirius?” Regulus prompted again.

“Spending money on a good cause, same as you,” Sirius said, yanking his arm from the other man’s grip, “but with infinitely better company.”

Regulus wrung his hands, eyes darting between the table to his right and Sirius’s on his left.

“Can we speak later?” he whispered urgently.

“No. Excuse me.”

“Sirius, please,” Regulus said, pleading, his voice so quiet it was practically non-existent.

Sirius didn’t respond, just pushed past him and sank down into his seat, sloshing his drink onto the tablecloth as he sat. Remus was giving him a questioning look. Sirius stared straight ahead.

The squat woman at the podium was coughing lightly into the microphone, now, trying to get the room’s attention. She began to speak, but Sirius couldn’t hear a word. He put his hands in his lap to stop them from shaking. Whether it was rage or fear, he didn’t know.

The woman - Umbridge, Sirius guessed - was prattling on about preserving the _right_ sort of culture and supporting the _right_ type of art. From what little was filtering through his panicked brain, Sirius guessed that her ideology aligned well with the Blacks and the Malfoys. No wonder they had such a prime table at the event. He grimaced and shifted in his seat. He didn’t like having his back to the lot of them.

A hand touched his arm.

He jumped.

“Sirius?” Marlene whispered, “you okay?”

He nodded tightly without looking at her.

She left her hand on his arm, reassuringly, and gave it a little squeeze. He took a deep breath.

“...Dr. Remus Lupin, who will give us a brief history of this remarkable work.”

Remus stood up to speak. Sirius let his voice wash over him, taking in nothing but the soothing baritone and calm, familiar cadence of his voice. He stared at the slowly spreading gin stain on the tablecloth.

“Sirius, breathe,” Marlene whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

He took a deep breath again, and glanced at her. She was looking at him sympathetically.

“Who was that?” she mouthed.

Sirius just shook his head. Marlene shot him a sympathetic look and rubbed his arm softly.

“We’re here for you,” she whispered.

He swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded. Remus was introducing Minerva now. Marlene leaned towards him to whisper, using the applause to mask her voice.

“You don’t have to talk about it, of course. But do you want me to find a new place for you to sit?”

Sirius shook his head as the applause died down. Remus was sinking back into his seat.

“It’s fine,” he muttered quietly, “we’re just...estranged.”

Marlene murmured something conciliatory and patted his arm once more, before removing her hand.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair and tried to focus on Minerva, but it was a lost cause. He could feel Remus’s eyes on him, and he wondered exactly how he must appear to Remus. The man had already made his distaste for virtue-signaling snobs known to Sirius, who had agreed with him heartily. And then there he was, obviously born and bred from their stock, being waylaid by a table full of the worst of them.

He glanced back over his shoulder and past Marlene’s head, to the table filled with his odious family. Lucius was whispering to Narcissa, who was nodding along to him. Bellatrix and her husband were laughing at something on his phone. A few of Lucius’s cronies were jiggling their legs impatiently, staring around the room, oblivious to Minerva's speech. He stared at the back of his brother’s head; Regulus hadn’t turned around to pay attention to the speaker either. Just as bad as the rest of them. He ground his teeth in anger and refocused towards the front of the room.

His glaze flitted to Remus, who was still peering at him. They locked eyes briefly and Remus looked away.

Applause filled the room again, and Minerva stepped down from the podium. Evidently the speeches were over.

“Excuse me,” Sirius said, standing up.

He dropped his napkin on his chair and headed towards the exit. He needed air.

He walked quickly through the lobby, nodding at the coat check attendant as he stepped outside.

He took a few deep breaths at the top of the staircase. He was looking down over the street. He could see a few valets below, bored now that everyone had arrived. They were huddled in a crowd, watching something on one of their phones. A few were smoking. Sirius felt the sudden desire to jog down the stairs and ask to bum one. He hadn’t smoked in years, but the scent was suddenly intoxicating.

Instead, he pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket. He tapped in his passcode and pulled up the text from one of Molly’s brothers, who were babysitting.

“This is Gid,” was all the text read. Sirius had programmed his number into Gideon’s phone, and the man had sent a text so Sirius could check up on Harry if he felt the need.

Without thinking, Sirius punched the little call button next to the number at the top of the screen.

“Hiya,” Gideon said cheerfully.

“Hi, this is Sirius.”

“Yeah, I saw. What’s up? How’s the party?”

Sirius could hear kids laughing in the background.

“Good, fine. Is Harry around?”

“Sure he is. Want me to grab him?”

“Yeah. Sorry, just… wanted to check in.”

“Course, no need to apologize for that.”

He heard Gideon calling for Harry and Harry’s little voice growing closer. He felt his heart unclench incrementally.

“Hi, Dad!”

“Hi, Harry. How are you?”

“Good!”

“That’s good. I’m glad. Are you having fun?”

“Yep! We’re playing with trains.”

“Oh, lovely. Are you building the tracks yourself?”

“Mhm!” Harry said excitedly, “I made a bridge with Ron and then Fred and George knocked it down and then Ginny and Ron and me made a second bridge on the other side of the street, but then there was a wave and…”

Sirius leaned his head against the stone wall of the building and shut his eyes, letting Harry’s innocent happiness overtake him. He murmured in delight at Harry’s story and interjected with a series of gasps and laughs whenever it seemed appropriate.

“So, um. Dad?”

“Yes, love?”

“Why did you call me?”

“Just to say hi. I missed you.”

“I missed you too. But can I go play again?”

Sirius laughed and smiled wistfully.

“Sure you can, buddy. I’ll see you in a little bit, okay? Be good!”

“I will! Bye!”

He heard Gideon say something to Harry before the line went dead. He pulled the phone away from his ear slowly, still clutching it tightly as though it could transport him from the dreadful party and straight back to Harry.

“Talking to Harry?”

He snapped up at the sound of Regulus’s voice. Regulus was standing in front of him, wrapped up in a long wool coat and scarf. Sirius shivered against the cold, wishing he had thought to do the same.

“Yes,” he said flatly. His phone buzzed in his hand. A text came in from Gideon.

“You look well,” Regulus said softly, keeping his distance, “I think being a father agrees with you.”

 _Sorry. Harry hung up before I could grab the phone. If you need anything else feel free to call again_ , the text read.

Sirius clicked his phone screen off and turned his attention back on Regulus.

“It does,” Sirius agreed, “and so does being away from all of that.”

He inclined his head sharply inside. Regulus winced, knowing Sirius was referring to the company he kept, rather than the event.

“It’s not easy for me, Sirius. I’m a partner in the firm now. I can’t just refuse to associate with them. You know I don’t condone-”

“No, I don’t know that. I don’t know anything about you anymore. But if you hate them so much, you should never have joined the firm in the first place. And anyway, _fuck the firm_ ,” Sirius said vehemently, “that whole life, Reg, you shouldn’t have gotten involved. You should have-”

“Should have just left, like you did?”

“Yes.”

“Well, not all of us had a James Potter to turn to.”

Sirius felt a familiar rage boiling up inside him. They’d had the same fight most days for a straight year leading up to Sirius's departure.

“You had _me_ to turn to,” Sirius spat, “If you had just said the word I would’ve taken you in. Taken you to James’s place then we’d have figured something out. Gotten a flat.”

“You mean you would’ve dropped out of school to take care of me.”

“Maybe. Yes. If I had to. If that is what would have gotten you away from them, then yes.”

“I didn’t want that.”

“I know that. And I didn’t push. But you promised you’d get out. After you left school, you _promised_ you’d find me and stay out.”

Regulus didn’t say anything for a while. Sirius rested his head against the stone again, staring up at the roof of the veranda, which was protecting them from the light snow that had begun to fall. He tossed his phone back and forth between his hands, teeth clenched, watching the flurry illuminated in the street lamps in the distance.

“Things changed.”

“Why? What’s changed? What’s changed except for the fact that their arguments have gotten to you and started to sway you to their way of thinking?”

“We’ve gone over this, Sirius.”

“No we haven’t. You’ve given me a bunch of bullshit answers and they destroyed any chance of a relationship we might have had.”

Sirius pulled his attention away from the night sky and focused back on Regulus. Behind him, the door to the building opened. Regulus opened his mouth.

“Just stop,” Sirius said in a whisper.

A group of people walked past them, giving the pair an odd look. Just behind them was Remus, carrying two drinks, and looking around.

“We can still have a relationship, Sirius. Just because-”

“I said enough,” Sirius whispered quickly, not wanting Remus to overhear him fighting with Regulus.

“I have to go,” Sirius said, pushing past him and towards Remus, who looked uncomfortable. He had taken a step back, apparently eager to get back inside and out of Sirius and Regulus's way.

He was frowning as Sirius approached.

“Hi,” Sirius said, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

“Hello. Er, sorry, I don’t want to interrupt...” Remus started.

“You’re not,” Sirius reassured him. He eyed the drinks, seeing one was his gin and tonic.

“Is this mine?”

“Yes,”

“Thank you,” he said gratefully, swallowing half in one gulp. He turned to look at Regulus, who was making his way down the stone steps. He turned at the bottom, as if he felt Sirius’s eyes on the back of his neck.

“So that’s it then?” Regulus called, “we’ll just never speak again? I’ll never see Harry? Never be part of your life?”

“I really don’t want that,” Sirius said, “but if you keep making the same mistakes, it is what it is.”

Sirius turned away from Regulus and strode up the stairs, avoiding Remus’s gaze.

“Sorry,” he muttered as he headed back inside. Remus followed behind.

“No, it’s my fault,” Remus said awkwardly, “I really didn’t mean to intrude.”

Sirius shrugged nonchalantly, as if he could convince Remus by body language alone that their fight meant nothing to him. He stood in the warm entryway, not moving, just regaining feeling in his arms and legs. He drank again, just for something to do. He wasn’t sure if he was grateful to Remus for providing him an out or mortified that he was there to witness the current - and very pathetic - state of his life.

“Well, thanks for saving me,” he said finally, trying for a smile.

Remus nodded and gave him a little forced smile in return.

“Well, they’ve just served dinner a few minutes ago, but I told Marlene to hold onto yours for you, so you don’t have to rush back in or anything. I didn’t….”

He trailed off, staring at his own drink, sloshing the ice cubes around not meeting Sirius’s eyes.

“I just wanted to check on you after you left, I guess. Sorry,” he said with a big sigh. He ran a hand through his hair, “that’s weirder to say out loud than I thought it would be.”

“No, it’s fine,” Sirius said with a little laugh, feeling a genuine smile on his face this time, “thanks, Remus.”

“Listen-”

“Well-”

Sirius smiled as they tried to speak over one another. Remus pressed his lips shut and nodded at Sirius to go first.

“Sorry you had to hear all that. I’d love to patch things up with him, but… Well. You know the Blacks…”

Remus looked puzzled. He opened his mouth to ask a question, but seemed to think better of it and snapped his jaw shut again. He looked supremely uncomfortable. Perhaps he didn’t know the Black family reputation after all? It seemed impossible. It was more likely that he knew the Black family reputation very well, and was just being polite by not agreeing with Sirius’s low opinion of them.

“Well, I’m going to head back inside,” Remus said after a few seconds, “I’m sure Minerva will want me around. Have a nice night, if I don’t see you again.”

He gave Sirius a fleeting smile but it seemed stilted, very different than the warm smiles he’d seen earlier in the evening. Or for the past few weeks, for that matter.

Sirius stared after his retreating form for a while, then returned to the dining room. Fortunately, no one was at their table. He grabbed his jacket and left.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even more angst! Forgive me?

**Monday**  
**4:30pm**

Sirius signed Harry into his storytime, then retreated back into the hallway. He hadn’t arrived early and he hadn’t seen Remus.

He had spent the entire weekend thinking about the gala. What had gone wrong? Was it Sirius bringing up Molly’s plan to set them up? Sirius hadn’t thought Remus was too upset by the idea at the time, but looking back he wondered if the awkward pauses weren’t Remus feeling unsure or unwilling to discuss his personal life at a work event, but actually him feeling uncomfortable.

Had Sirius been feeling something that wasn’t actually there in their interactions? He had been so sure there was some kind of spark between them. But then, Sirius hadn’t flirted with anyone in nearly five years. Perhaps he was just correlating friendship with romantic interest. God, what if Remus was straight? He didn’t think so. But maybe. He was out of practice at this type of thing.

Or maybe Remus _had_ been interested, and then he had seen the Blacks and their family friends. No doubt as soon as Sirius had stepped out for some air he would have looked over at the table and figured out who Sirius had been talking to. His family would, of course, be high-profile donors, so Minerva or that Umbridge woman would have filled him in.

And then the Black family reputation would be all over him again. He had hoped Remus either hadn’t connected the dots or had thought his surname was a coincidence. It was fairly common, after all. But now he would know for a fact that Sirius was one of them.

The family’s financial firm had been at the center of many high-profile lawsuits in the past decade or so. From racial profiling when choosing clients to the firm being tied to illegal offshore accounts exposed by the Panama Papers, the Black family was associated with the worst type of white-collar crime. Even worse, they were rich enough to get away with anything. Allegations of assault, bribery, murder for hire; nothing was too low for a Black to sink, according to the tabloids.

Part of him - a large and highly ashamed part of him - wanted to wait in his car until it was time to pick Harry up, today and for the few remaining weeks in the storytime program. It would be easier to just never show his face again, wouldn’t it?

But a smaller part of him - the pathetic, love-struck part - wanted to plop himself right down on the tile floor and wait until Remus walked past him with a book cart, obstructing his way once again and forcing the man to interact with him. He wanted nothing more than to smile up at Remus and pretend the past few weeks had never happened. To start over. No accidents, no expensive books - just two people meeting and, maybe, falling in love.

But he knew that wasn’t how it would play out. Remus would, more than likely, give him the same polite smile as he had at the end of their time together at the gala. He would be cordial, but distant. And that would, probably, hurt Sirius even more than running away and hiding in his car. But he was a glutton for punishment; even the chance to see the man and be hurt by him felt better than the alternative of simply never seeing him again.

He didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know where to go. He hovered in front of the shut door, staring in at the meeting room until he heard a soft voice behind him.

“Hello.”

Sirius spun around. “Oh. Hi, Remus.”

Remus nodded in greeting, but broke eye contact quickly and kept walking. Sirius wasn’t sure if he was projecting or not, but the atmosphere felt heavy, awkward. Sirius jogged up the hallway to meet him.

“Remus, wait.”

He slowed down and turned, watching Sirius warily.

“I’m sorry I missed you the other night. After you left to go back to the gala, I mean.”

Remus just nodded, didn’t move to say anything.

“I really wish I could have spent the rest of the night with you,” Sirius said earnestly, “I know you said you hate those things and I… I just didn’t expect to see... Well. Anyways, I’m sorry I sort of abandoned you.”

Truthfully, Remus’s sudden change in demeanor after Sirius’s fight with Regulus had been the reason Sirius had left, not the fight itself, or his relatives. He would have put up with the rest of them if it meant spending time with Remus, especially after he had been kind enough to save him.

“That’s alright. I had to speak to people anyways,” Remus said. He turned and swiped his card to open the staff door to his workspace. Sirius grappled for something that could keep him there, keep him from disappearing into the office.

“Did you want tea? I’m going to get coffee. I can get you some, or we could go downstairs…”

“Um, no, I don’t think so,” Remus said slowly. He didn’t meet Sirius’s eyes, just glanced into the open doorway, “I have quite a bit of work to do.”

Sirius nodded glumly, but didn’t speak. Remus turned to look at him quickly and flashed him a small, apologetic smile.

“Have a nice night,” he said, and then he slipped away.

Sirius sat in his car for the rest of the evening.

**Wednesday**  
**4:35pm**

“We’re late again,” Harry hissed, walking quickly through the parking lot.

“It’s fine. I’m sure everyone’s late with this weather. Walk slowly,” he warned.

Wednesdays were typically Sirius’s busiest day at the office, but he cut his meetings short that afternoon in anticipation of the weather. It was snowing, not too heavily, but enough that Sirius expected the traffic to be bad. He didn’t want to be late.

Sirius felt that, now that he’d been firmly rejected, the kindest thing he could do for both of them was to stick tightly with the prescribed drop off and pick up times so that Remus could avoid him if he chose to. Often Remus was coming or going to late afternoon meetings, but sometimes he just went for a chai latte or a white tea. But still, here they were, late.

Sirius tried to empty his mind of Remus’s tea preferences and focus solely on crossing the parking lot safely. Harry was holding his hand, tugging him along slightly faster than was advisable. He slowed them down, silently vowing there would be no more accidents at the library.

A few minutes later he was sitting in the cafe, still damp from the snow. Harry had been signed in and Remus had remained absent. He pulled his laptop out of his bag with a heavy sigh. He could at least use this Remus-free ninety minutes to catch up on work. Honestly, if he had been doing this the whole time he wouldn’t be so behind on a few of his clients. Yet another reason dating wasn’t a good idea for him right now.

He added it to the mental list in his head, which was already long, but had more than doubled over the weekend. Lying in bed after the gala, unable to sleep, he had dubbed it _Reasons Not to Date Until Harry is at Least Eighteen_. It was a compelling list, albeit a depressing one.

His partner, Emmeline Vance, had sent him three emails since he had left the office. One of their shared projects, a community center for a town several hours away, had run into some permit problems. Their firm focused on sustainable architecture, and this particular project was one of a string he had been designing with hydroponic green space built into the exterior of the building. It was one of the most environmentally sound techniques to use, and he simply loved the idea of introducing green space back into the austere, gray landscapes of the city and surrounding suburbs. The town he was working for felt otherwise though, with one of the town’s councillors labeling it ‘hippy liberal bullshit.’

Sirius hadn’t seen the need to respond to that particular description. He assumed that meant they wanted more discussion on the subject, but they hadn’t actually rejected the proposal, so he moved forward with the blueprints and sent them along to the office. Out of spite he had even drawn an arrow to the hydroponic wall and labeled it the “hippy liberal bullshit” wall. Maybe they would lose the client. Probably not though. The final conference call before moving into construction was that evening, just after Sirius had ducked out early. Judging by the number of emails and their colorful subject lines, Emmaline was less than thrilled at having to deal with the fallout.

He was typing out a particularly grumpy response to her when he was interrupted.

“Hey, you.”

Sirius looked up at the unexpected guest.

“Hi, Dorcas. How are you?”

“Good! Mind if I join?”

Sirius nodded and swept his work out of the way, lowering the screen on his laptop so he could converse with Dorcas across the table.

“How are you?”

“I’m okay,” she said slowly, “I was actually sent by Marlene to tell all the parents that storytime is ending early. She’s going to wrap up in 10 minutes or so. Apparently the weather is going to get bad and she doesn’t want to chance it.”

“Oh,” Sirius said, craning his head to look out one of the windows, the snow was falling thickly. “alright. No problem, I’ll head up in a bit.”

“Cool. And er…”

Siris stared at her expectantly. She didn’t continue.

“Nevermind, it’s nothing,” she said, quickly standing up again.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Dorcas. Don’t do that to me. You have to tell me now. Is it about you and Marlene?”

He was hoping she would update him on how her date had gone, or how they’d been getting along since the past weekend. If he couldn’t have his own successful relationship, he at least wanted to live vicariously through hers.

“Oh,” he said with a bashful smile, “no that’s not it. We’re great,” she added.

She sank back down.

“I just wanted to ask what happened on Friday. We didn’t see you after… after dinner.”

“Oh,” Sirius said, mood souring, “sorry. I just… there were a lot of people there I didn’t expect to see and… I dunno. It was easier to leave I suppose.”

“Right. Well. Remus… ah, nevermind.”

“No, tell me,” Sirius said, probably too quickly and too forcefully, “what did Remus say?”

“He didn’t say anything. But he seemed... well, not upset I guess, but different. Distant, maybe, for the rest of the night. I wondered if you two had… I don’t know. Fought or something. Or just talked things out.”

Sirius frowned.

“We didn’t fight,” he said slowly, “but I don’t know what happened. What do you mean ‘talked things out?’”

“Well,” she said awkwardly, “after Remus took you your drink we didn’t see you again. Remus came back and spoke with donors the whole night, which he hates, and he’s been in a weird mood since. I wondered if you two had talked about...well, about you two.”

Sirius shook his head sullenly.

“No, we didn’t. He just apologized for intruding, I told him he wasn’t, then he said he probably wouldn’t see me for the rest of the night because he had to work with Minerva. I was already in a terrible mood because of… everything,” he waved his hands vaguely, hoping the nebulous action would convey the shit show that was his life.

“I was so confused about that and pissed off about... everything else. So I just left.”

Dorcas hummed contemplatively, looking as puzzled as Sirius felt.

“We did talk earlier in the evening,” Sirius said suddenly, remembering his stupid comment about Molly Weasley trying to fix them up.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve felt for weeks that there was something there, you know? Between Remus and I. And he was being weird early in the evening and it turned out that he thought Marlene and I were coming to gala together. So I told him we weren’t - that it was the two of you who were together. Then I said I thought Molly Weasley had been trying to fix him and I up. He didn’t seem thrilled about that,” Sirius added miserably.

Dorcas’s look of confusion deepened even further. Sirius could relate.

“I just don’t-”

They both jumped as a shrill beeping echoed from their respective phones, and the phones of the other patrons in the cafe.

“Jesus,” Sirius hissed.

He and Dorcas both looked at their phones. An emergency alert lit up the screen.

_Hazardous conditions… travel ban… non-emergency or non-essential drivers must stay off the roads until at least 9pm…_

Sirius groaned.

“Let’s get upstairs, shall we?” Dorcas asked.

“Yes, good idea.”

~~~

At the top of the stairs, Dorcas left Sirius at the storytime room door to check in with her department. Sirius pushed the door open, intent on finding Harry and figuring out their next steps for the evening.

When he entered the room, it was in chaos.

The jarring alert noise had apparently gone off on Marlene and Molly’s phones as well, frightening a few of the more timid kids to tears and whipping the rest into an adrenaline-filled frenzy.

Molly was at the front of the room, calling for quiet and trying to convince the kids to sit back down on their carpet squares. Marlene was in the corner, speaking quietly and seriously to someone on a landline phone. Sirius waved to get Harry’s attention, putting his fingers to his lips and shushing him - because of course Harry and Ron were up dancing around instead of listening to Molly. Once he was sure Harry had been properly guilted into sitting quietly, he made his way over to Marlene.

“...alright, will do.”

She hung up and turned to Sirius.

“So, the travel ban is in place until nine tonight. Minerva should be updating us all soon…”

She rolled her eyes up towards a speaker in the corner of the room, and sure enough, the PA system crackled into life.

“May I have your attention. As you may know, there is a travel ban in effect until at least nine o’clock this evening. Non-essential travel is prohibited until that time. Our doors will be locked, effective immediately. No new patrons will be allowed to enter, though of course you are free to leave if you must. We do, however, encourage you to stay in the library unless absolutely necessary. Though we typically close at eight o’clock, we will be extending our hours until at least nine in order to accommodate the travel ban.”

Sirius listened to the announcement despondently. He wasn’t looking forward to staying in the library, but he couldn’t imagine a justification for traveling. Neither he nor Harry had medicine they needed to take, nor did they have pets waiting at home that needed feeding. No one waiting at home, in fact.

“So, are you risking a ticket to drive home or staying here with me?” Marlene asked, grabbing a binder from the counter. She flipped it open as the rest of the parents began streaming into the room to find their children.

“Staying here,” Sirius sighed, “need help with anything?”

“Nah, I’ve got it. I just need to run some interference up here…”

She floated to the front door, where she began catching all of the parents and ushering them into the room. Most of the parents hovered uncertainly around the perimeter of the room, some sank down into the comically tiny chairs at the tables, and a few - Sirius among them - sat down cross-legged on the floor with their children.

“Okay, everyone! Thanks for joining us back here so quickly. Sorry I initially called you back to tell you to leave, only to find out now we’re all stuck here. I’d really hoped the weather would hold out for longer,” she sighed.

“Well!” she clapped her hands, “Anyway for those who are taking off, please be careful driving. For those who are staying, I’m going to be finishing up our normal story time. After six o’clock I’ll pull out some other crafts and books and, don’t you worry, I’ll be here to keep your little ones entertained until nine. If the travel ban is extended, I’ll give you all another update.”

Many of the parents began shuffling their children into coats, some with guilty looks on their faces. Sirius guessed those ones didn’t really have a legitimate reason to be driving. To be fair, though, keeping a five- or six-year old awake and hyped up until nine on a school night was sort of an emergency, wasn’t it? He wondered if there was anywhere more quiet to take Harry, maybe somewhere to sleep.

“Did you hear that, dad!? We get to do crafts all night!”

Sirius looked down at Harry’s big grin and felt himself smiling too, despite the prospect of a long night at the library, not to mention a difficult morning ahead.

“That’s great, bud.”

He stood up and stretched as Molly made her way over to Sirius.

“Arthur’s home with the others, so I’m going to stay here and help Marlene for the evening.”

“You’re a saint, Molly, really. Does she need more help?”

“I doubt it. More than half of the kids are leaving as it is.”

Sirius nodded, considering. He really should get more work done.

“Okay, Harry,” he said, looking down, “I’m going back downstairs for a while, okay?”

“Okay!” he said cheerfully. He glanced back up at Molly.

“I’ll probably pop up to check on things in a bit so if you need me…”

“We’ll be fine,” Molly said, waving him off, “I’m sure Dorcas will be joining us soon, anyhow.”

~~~

For a few hours Sirius actually did get work done. He sat in the cafe and tapped out emails, reviewed blueprints sent by some of his junior architects, and settled vendor disputes. He even forced out an apology to the hippy-liberal-bullshit-hater.

He saw Remus ordering a tea out of the corner of his eye around seven. He glanced up long enough to nod hello politely, fighting the knot in his stomach. Remus nodded in return. Surprisingly, Sirius’s attention only wavered for a few minutes before he was able to refocus.

It was a nice surprise, in a way. Harry loved the library and Sirius would be loath to go to a different branch in another part of town just because of his single stupid, disastrous attempt at dating.

At half past eight, he started packing up. The weather appeared to be clearing, and he guessed that the travel ban wouldn’t be extended. Even if it was, he might risk the ticket to put Harry to bed. He was a monster in the morning even on a full night’s sleep.

He was part-way up the staircase when he saw Remus again. He was standing at the top of the staircase that overlooked the main floor of the library, leaning against the railing and looking out of the large glass window that made up the front of the building. He was talking to someone on his cellphone.

“...you’re sure?” Sirius heard as he passed, once again flashing the other man a tight smile. He was grateful that the phone call gave him an organic excuse not to make awkward small talk.

“Alright, love you too. Bye.”

Sirius grimaced and walked twice as quickly the rest of the way to the storytime room. Perhaps Sirius had waited too long, and now Remus was seeing someone. Maybe that was why he was so certain there was a spark early on their relationship. _But it doesn’t matter_ , he told himself, before forcing himself to recite _The List_. He wrenched open the door and slipped inside before Remus could return down the hallway.

“Hiya,” Marlene said.

“Hey,” Sirius said.

“You okay?”

“Huh?” Sirius asked distractedly.

“Are you okay? You look a bit tired.”

“Oh, well. Long day.”

She hummed in agreement, but still eyed him suspiciously.

“Can I help you with any clean up?” Sirius asked.

“Sure, if you want.”

He walked around the room aimlessly for the next half an hour, picking up discarded paper scraps and cotton balls. At some point Marlene seemed to have given up on creating a themed craft and just let the kids loose on the full tubs of craft supplies. Sirius glanced over at Harry, who was now wearing some type of mask or crown adorned with bright yellow feathers. At least there wasn’t any glitter.

“Dorcas?”

Sirius dropped the glue stick he was holding at the sound of Remus’s voice in the doorway. He didn’t turn to greet him, just kept his head down and focused on wiping down the gluey craft table.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“I’m heading out, can you lock up?”

“Oh, sure. Did you get a hold of your mom?”

His mother. He felt his shoulder’s relax, a surge of relief coursing through his body. Not a significant other then. But, he chastised himself, that shouldn’t matter because I’m not interested in dating.

“Yes, I’m going to go get her now. I’ll be late tomorrow, I think.”

“Alright, be careful driving,” Dorcas said worriedly.

“You too. Goodnight. Goodnight, Molly, Marlene,” a pause, “Sirius.”

He turned a bit and waved, not meeting Remus’s eyes. He felt Marlene and Molly’s eyes on him. Mercifully, Dorcas interrupted the thick silence by bursting into song, which almost immediately triggered a sing-a-long from the remaining children.

**Friday**  
**8:47am**

“No school again?”

“No school again,” Sirius confirmed with a wry smile. The snow had stopped falling a few hours earlier, but the streets were still unplowed and large sections of the city were still without power. Fortunately, they were fine. Sirius had worked from home the previous day, and it looked like he would be doing so again. He let Harry sleep in, savoring the quiet to get as much work done as possible. If his day went anything like yesterday, he would be getting minimal work done once he was up.

He poured a second cup of coffee for himself and a juice for Harry.

“Are you working today?” Harry asked sadly, eying Sirus’s laptop.

“I’m afraid so. At least for the morning.”

“Are you sure? Can’t we go to the park and you can work once I’m asleep tonight?”

Sirius laughed, “maybe. How about you eat breakfast and let me finish some emails first, okay?”

“Okay.”

Harry sat at the table, swinging his feet wildly and looking out the window. Sirius busied himself with making breakfast. The kitchen was a good size, as was the rest of the house. He had bought the house shortly after Harry came to him. He had been living in an historic and partially renovated terraced house, restoring it slowly to its former glory while working twelve hour days at a prestigious architectural firm. He still owned that house, though it sat empty except for the few times a year he gathered enough energy to check on it and call in a plumber or electrician with the vague hope of returning to work on it one day soon.

What with the exposed wiring and lack of drywall, his terraced home - once his pride and joy - was no place for a baby. He purchased a turn-key semi-detached in a safer part of the city, close to parks and lovely schools, with three completed bedrooms and two functioning toilets. It wasn’t charming and it wasn’t unique. It wasn’t really a home. But it was functional, and that’s all Sirius had been looking for.

After Lily and James had died he couldn’t face the empty rooms of the house on Elm Street, which he had envisioned filling with the Potters and their friends at holiday time. He couldn’t justify spending time or energy on tile purchased when he had a baby to take care of.

He had so little energy in those days, so little extra brain-space for anything that wasn’t _Help Harry_ and _Ignore Grief._ Working on the Elm house was out of the question. He barely skated by at work, getting dirty looks when he left after a standard eight hour day instead of staying late with the rest of the team.

Still, it took him another 2 years to accept Emmeline Vance’s offer to leave the company and start their own firm. It was better, he found, to work for himself. It was much harder work, of course, but he could set his own hours, make sure he spent enough time with his godson. He thought about this as he tipped scrambled eggs on a plate.

“I think you’re right, Harry. I think we should go to the park today.”

“Really?” Harry said brightly.

“Yes. I think we both deserve a day off.”

“Me too! You work too much and my school has been a lot to handle recently,” he said quite seriously.

Sirius choked back a laugh.

“Oh yeah?” he said, drinking his coffee to cover up his wide smile, “why’s that?”

“Maths,” Harry said simply.

“Ah,” Sirius said sagely, “Maths is never fun. But sledding might be. If we go to St. Thomas Park we can go sledding.”

Harry nodded vigorously, his mouth too full of eggs to speak. He swallowed quickly and took a swig of juice before hopping off of his chair.

“I’ll go get dressed!” he called, already tearing back upstairs.

St. Thomas’s was a park a bit further away from their home than the usual one they visited. It was, in fact, very close to the old house, and would have been their local park if he and Harry stayed on Elm Street. For that reason alone, perhaps, the park held a special place in his heart.

Sirius opened the calendar app on his phone as he finished up his scrambled eggs.

Perhaps after sledding he would drive by the house to check in on the place, as he tried to do every month or so. Over the summer he had hired several contractors, aiming not to make the house habitable for him and Harry, but to sell it. He had bought it for a steal, considering the amount of work that needed to be done, and yes, theoretically he could just put it back on the market as is, but he felt he could attract more offers if he fixed it up a bit first. Or at least that was what he was telling himself while he tried to convince himself he wasn’t holding on to the property for sentimental value.

He flicked through his calendar; there were a few contractors scheduled over the next few weeks. Nothing urgent, though. No real need to look in on the house. Whenever he dropped in with Harry, he would run around the house pointing all of the different rooms and asking what Sirius had planned to use each room for. Sometimes it broke his heart, but sometimes it made him hopeful.

Maybe, he always thought, maybe next year he would get back to work on it. Maybe enough time had finally passed that he could envision the house in a new light, as a place where he could make new memories instead of a place filled with old, torturous ones.

~~~

They were certainly not the only ones who had the idea to come sledding. It seemed like half of Harry’s school friends were there and they spent a lovely morning sledding in little groups while Sirius, mercifully, was spared from the act. He chatted with a few other parents, but mostly just watched Harry happily and sipped a coffee.

They ate a cobbled-together lunch of fruit and sandwiches from a stand near the sledding hill, then made their way to the other side of the park, which was much quieter. This side of the space held walking trails and an off-leash dog park. Harry dragged Sirius over to the fence, keen to watch the dogs running and playing.

“Let’s sit down here to drink your hot chocolate, okay?” Sirius said, slightly winded from trotted after Harry.

“Can I go up to the fence?”

“No, the bench is close enough. I don’t want your little fingers getting bit off.”

“They don’t bite,” Harry said with a hearty eye roll.

“Hm, well,” Sirius took a long drag of his coffee, “they might. You’ve got very sticky, delicious hot chocolate fingers.”

Harry acquiesced and the pair spent a few minutes drinking in peace, watching the dogs romping in snow. Sirius congratulated himself silently for taking the day off. He’d been so wrapped up in his own head, so caught up in self-pity. It was nice to take a vacation for their normal, dull routines and reconnect with Harry. This, he reminded himself, was what his life was all about. He and Harry, against the world. Maybe they _could_ get a dog, Sirius mused, watching a particularly cute black lab leaping through the air. Then they’d really be a proper family.

“Look,” Harry said, pointing off in the distance.

A few yards away from them, walking down the path, was Remus. He was with someone, a shorter woman by the looks of it. Harry waved before Sirius could stop him.

“You know he said he was going to buy me a cookie one day.”

Sirius groaned, “I know, but don’t say anything about that, okay? And you don’t have to keep waving, I think he saw you.”

Harry dropped his little hand and looked up at Sirius in confusion, probably unused to his godfather’s pathetic tone of voice.

“Hello!”

The woman who was walking with Remus had sped up and reached their bench. Sirius stood up to greet her.

“Hello.”

“I’m Hope Lupin, Remus’s mother. He said you two come to the library, yes? You’re the one who donated a rather lovely book, isn’t that right?”  
Sirius felt queasy. Truthfully, he wanted to be anywhere but there, talking to Remus’s mothing. But he was still somehow pathetically pleased with the idea that Remus was speaking to his mother about him, even if he was brought up for the first time in conversation just one second ago to fill her in on why a strange child was waving to him at the park.

“Yep, that’s me,” he said lamely, “Say hi, Harry.”

“Hi,” Harry said, suddenly shy.

“Do you go to the library for storytime?” Hope asked, bending down to peer at Harry.

There was no doubt she was Remus’s mother; she had the same soft brown, almost golden hair, and the same kind eyes. She was animated and has a musical voice, one that was much more lively than her calm and stoic son. Sirius glanced up to see Remus headed towards them. He was wrapped up in a wool coat and sweater, with a lovely woolen cap covering his wavy hair. A few ends stuck out and curled around his face, catching snowflakes. His nose was a bit red and his cheeks were flushed with cold. He looked simply incredible. Sirius had to fight the urge to bury his face into the crook of Remus’s neck and warm him up.

“Hi, Sirius,” Remus said quietly once he caught up to them.

“Hi. How are you?”

“Fine, thanks.”

“No work today? Is the library closed?”

“No, it’s open, but I didn’t want to brave the streets.”

“That’s for the best I think. I wasn’t sure if it was open at all, honestly. Marlene called to say the class tonight was cancelled. I worked from home for a few hours, but gave up once he woke up.”

Remus looked down at Harry.

“Sorry about my mother,” he said, after watching the pair for a minute, “she was a music teacher at a primary school. She only just retired and I think she misses the kids.”

“She seems great with them,” Sirius offered.

Remus hummed in affirmation, but didn’t offer anything else.

They stood shoulder to shoulder, watching Harry and Hope, the silence growing thick and heavy between them. Sirius opened his mouth to pull Harry away from her, to make up some excuse about needing to get home. Before he could do that, Hope looked up and clapped her hands happily.

“We’re going to lunch,” Hope said, “You should join us.”

“Oh, er...”

“Yes! Let’s!” Harry said, obviously taken with the woman.

“Mum, they’re having a nice day out, come on,” Remus said under his breath.

“I’d like to go Miss Hope. Can we, Dad?”

“Um, I think we have to get home, Harry.”

“Why? You said you wouldn’t work until after I fell asleep tonight. You promised,” he added, eyes wide.

That adorable, manipulative bastard.

“Er,” Sirius faltered.

His gaze flickered between the three. Harry, eyes wide and hopeful; Hope, eyes wide and grinning expectantly; Remus, eyes wide and looking miserable.

“Er, I don’t want to intrude?” he offered, trying to telepathically let Remus know he was trying his best to get out of this.

“We’d love for you to come!” Hope said, straightening up and taking Harry’s hand. They took a few steps down the path.

“Alright, we can join you, I suppose.”

Remus shifted uncomfortably next to Sirius.

“If that’s okay with you,” he added quickly, turning back to Remus.

Remus’s brows were slightly furrowed and he was fixing Sirius was a look that was impossible to read. Hope was fixing him with a similar stare, which he noticed after a minute or two. Sirius watched as he caught her eye, she pursed her lips and slightly inclined her head, raising one eyebrow. Remus’s expression changed to one of mild shame. Sirius imagined this how normal mother’s and son’s communicated.

“No, that’s fine. It should be… fun,” he said, finally.

“There’s a lovely little restaurant up here,” Hope said, pointing ahead of her, “have you ever been?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Can you tell me the story about the mouse now?” Harry said, tugging on her hand. Hope laughed and the two of the started up the path again, Sirius and Remus following a few steps behind.

“Sorry,” Sirius said quietly, “I can make up an excuse to leave it you’d like.”

“No, that’s fine. I’m sorry my mother’s so… friendly.”

“It’s nice,” Sirius said truthfully, pushing back thoughts of his own mother, “But I don’t want to intrude. Or put you in a weird position. I can’t imagine you want to have lunch with me right now.”

Remus looked uncomfortable, but recovered quickly.

“No, that’s okay.”

“I’m sorry I made things weird,” Sirius said after a minute or so of silence.

“You didn’t.”

“I sort of did.”

“No, honestly. It’s fine.”

Sirius knew he should stop talking. Remus’s short, terse answers were all but begging him to shut up.

“I shouldn’t have said anything about Molly Weasley trying to set us up.”

Once again, Remus didn’t say anything. Sirius risked a glance at him. He was pink, but Sirius didn’t think it was just from the cold this time.

Remus glanced sideways and made eye contact with Sirius. He opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again. They walked on for a while in silence.

“I’m sorry she was trying to do that,” Remus said finally.

Sirius wasn’t quite sure how to take that, so he didn’t say anything. Instead, he surreptitiously pulled out his phone and set an alarm. A few minutes later when it rang, he pretended it was an important phone call from Emmaline and hurried Harry and himself out of the park.

**Monday**  
**5:55pm**

He was back in the cafe, finishing up an email before Harry’s class finished.

It was the final week of storytime. One more week at the library, two more weeks until Christmas, and then he’d have at least three more weeks until the spring storytime session started up again.

Five weeks without seeing Remus. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Happy, because he’d now been spectacularly rejected twice. Miserable, because he was, apparently, a masochist who wanted to see Remus despite the inevitable humiliation that would come from continued interactions with the man.

Sirius sighed and walked back upstairs, joining the small crowd of parents outside of the meeting room. Dorcas and Irma were standing in front of the staff door, bundled in their winter gear. Remus stepped out of the door and pulled it shut behind him. He and Sirius met each others’ gazes briefly, nodding curtly in greeting.

The trio wandered down the hall. Remus made a beeline for the staircase, no longer making eye contact with Sirius. Irma followed behind him and Dorcas stopped by the door to the storytime room.

Sirius watched Remus go sadly, allowing himself to wallow for a few seconds before the meeting room door opened and a burst of sound and little footsteps brought him back to the present.

He shuffled his way through the crowd until he slipped into the room, hovering in the back while Harry finished cleaning up his craft supplies.

“Hey, you.”

Marlene sidled up to him.

“Hey, Marlene.”

“How are you?” she asked, looking at him with concern.

“Okay.”

“Yeah? You look pretty miserable.”

“Oh, thanks!” Sirius said in a faux-bright tone. Marlene laughed.

“You look good, just I don’t know. Sad.”

“I’m alright,” he sighed, dropping the sarcasm, “I ran into Remus at the park over the weekend. It was spectacularly awful. He said he wished Molly hadn’t been trying to set us up.”

Marlene’s eyebrows shot up.

“He actually said that!?”

“Yep,” he said, “so forgive me if I look a bit like a kicked dog. I’m kind of feeling like one.”

“I can’t believe that. I really thought things were going well between you.”

“Me too.”

They lapsed into silence, gazing out over the room at the children packing up their belongings and shrugging themselves into coats and hats and gloves. A parent came up to ask Marlene something and Sirius was alone once again.

Harry toddled up to him, holding a popsicle stick bookmark.

“Look. Pete the Cat!”

“Ah, I see,” Sirius said crouching down, “that’s so good, buddy.”

“Thanks,” Harry said, throwing his arms around Sirius’s neck. Sirius, surprised by the sudden hug, almost lost his balance. He laughed.

“Ready to go home?”

“Yep. Can you read me Pete the Cat stories tonight?”

“I think I can do that, yes. Or better yet, maybe you can try to read them to me.”

Harry beamed up at him, and all his earlier troubles melted.

**Wednesday  
** **4:20pm**

“We’re doing snowflake chains today,” Harry said, bouncing in his booster seat.

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yep. We take one snowflake off the chain each day until it’s gone.”

“Like a countdown?” Sirius asked, navigating the icy parking lot. 

“Yes. I’m going to do a countdown to Christmas. Someone is doing Hanukkah and someone else is doing until school ends.” 

“I think Christmas is a good one.” 

“Me too.” 

Harry idly kicked at the back of Sirius’s seat, singing a Christmas song under his breath. Sirius’s phone rang as he pulled into a parking spot. 

“Don’t answer!” Harry cried. 

“What? Why not?” Sirius said distractedly, already fishing his phone out of his coat pocket. 

“You’ll sit in the car and talk for _ ever _ and I’ll be late.”

“Alright, how about I walk and talk?” 

Harry huffed in annoyance, but didn’t protest. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi, Mr. Black? This is Annie from Reimer Plumbing. We have a technician scheduled to meet you at 34 Elm Street in a half an hour.” 

“In half an hour… ah, no. Oh my god, I completely forgot. Can I put you on hold for a second?” 

Harry tugged him across the parking lot, picking their way through ice and snow to get to the sidewalk. He reached for the door handle.

“Hold on a second, Harry.” 

“Why?” he asked suspiciously. 

“We might have to skip tonight,” his said, his heart sinking. His mind raced as he tried to come up with a way to meet his plumber and allow Harry to attend class. 

“I forgot about an important appointment at the other house.” 

Harry looked upset.

“Oh, Harry. I’m sorry. I’ll try to… hold on,” he pushed the unmute button on his phone, “how long does the appointment generally take? I have a class for my son that goes until 6.” 

“About an hour to two. You really just need to be there to let us in, provided you’re okay with us locking up when we leave. You said this was an uninhabited residence, right?”

“Yes, it is. And that’s fine,” Sirius said gratefully, “I think it will be okay, at least. Can I give you a call back if my plans change?” 

  
“Yes, not a problem. If we don’t hear from you, we’ll assume the appointment is still standing.” 

“Perfect, thanks.”

He hung up and hurried Harry up the stairs. He scribbled a signature on the sign-in sheet and headed right for Marlene. 

“Hey,” he said breathlessly, “I have a weird question to ask.” 

“Shoot,” she said, eyebrows raised, giving him a long appraising look.

“I know I’m supposed to stay in the library for the entirety of the class, but I forgot about an appointment with a plumber and I just need to run over to open a door for someone. Could I possibly pop out for a half hour or so?”

“Yeah,” Marlene said slowly, “yeah that’s alright. Just be back by pickup.” 

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver!” 

He sprinted down the stairs, narrowly avoiding Dorcas, who was carrying a tray of drinks from the cafe upstairs. He caught a whiff of chai, but didn’t stop to chat.

“‘Oh, Hello Dorcas,’” Dorcas called from behind him, in a low voice that was obviously an attempt at his own.

“‘Hello to you too, Sirius,’” she said, this time in her regular voice, “and how are you today?” 

“Oh,” she said, again in the low voice, “I’m okay. Just being a right berk ignor-”

Sirius turned back and grinned.

“Alright, alright. I apologize. I’m an idiot and forgot about an appointment. I’ll be back in a few and then we can make all kinds of small talk at pick-up time.”

“Don’t make it sound so dirty, Black,” she said with a wink. 

He waved over his shoulder, walking quickly through the rest of the library and out back into the cold. 

~~~

The house was as bare and desolate as he remembered. It was only ten minutes from the library - a much shorter drive than their current house - so he arrived with time to spare. He flicked on some lights, silently thanking his past self for keeping the electricity connected. 

A few minutes later the doorbell rang and he let the plumber in. He didn’t plan to do any work on the house over the winter, so he needed the pipes winterized before he shut the water off. He showed the technician to the basement. As the pipes hadn’t been in use, the plumber said the job would only take an hour or so. Sirius figured he could risk it if he really wanted to stay until the man was finished, so he took a little walkthrough of the rest of the house, trying to make a mental list of all of the things he needed to fix. Either to sell, or… 

Well. A different discussion for a different time. 

His hands trailed up the banister. It was dusty. He’d need someone to come in and clean if he did want to sell the place. The ground floor had two sitting rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a library, all of which he walked through quickly. He had hardly touched any of the rooms except the kitchen. He had put in lovely new appliances and little else; just enough to cook with. The cabinets were demolished and the countertops were laid in, but not properly installed, just papered over. A small folding table held his coffee pot and a toaster oven. 

He surveyed the other rooms perfunctorily, taking note of the flooring and drywall he’d need to replaster, then he made his way upstairs. The first floor had four bedrooms, and two bathrooms. One of the bedrooms had been nearly finished. It was the room he had planned to turn into a bedroom for Harry so he would have a place to sleep when he stayed over. Another of the rooms was half-done. That one he had planned to turn into a guest room for Lily and James, despite the fact that they lived about 45 minutes away. The two others he had imagined as offices, though he had no real plans. He shut all of the bedroom doors and walked up another staircase, trying to ignore the fact that everything he had hoped for had fallen apart.

He made his way to the second floor. It was his favorite floor, and the space on which he had done the most amount of work. He had turned the space into a master suite, with a large bedroom, two huge closets, and a beautiful bathroom. He had even restored a large balcony overlooking the garden. The room was nearly finished, as this was where he’d spent most of his time during the few brief years he had lived in the Elm Street home. 

House, really. Not a home. It never had the chance to be a home. 

With that melancholy thought, he checked his watch and returned to the basement to tell the plumber to lock up when he left. He would just drive by after picking Harry up, or early the next morning, to check that everything was locked. He didn’t want to be in the house anymore.

He pulled the door shut tightly behind him and stepped outside. He began the two block journey down the street towards his car. He hadn’t owned a car before Harry and the street parking was a nightmare. Another strike against the house.

He was nearing the northern entrance to St. Thomas Park when someone called his name. 

“Sirius? Sirius Black?” 

He turned around, nearly losing his balance on the icy sidewalk. 

“Er, yes?” 

“Hello!” 

A small woman caught up to him. It was Hope Lupin. 

“Oh, hi.” 

“I thought that was you!” 

“Um, yes. Hi. How are you?” he asked, feeling it would be run to try and run for it now that he’d confirmed his identity.

“I’m fine, just fine,” she was walking a fluffy, brown, shepherd-looking dog, “Just out for a walk with this beast, you know.” 

“Oh lovely,” Sirius said, bending down to pat the dog, “So, er, do you live around here?” 

“No, my husband and I live about an hour away, out in the country. We’re staying with Remus for a few weeks. Our cottage is a mess, you see. The electricity keeps going down during storms, so we’re having the place rewired over the holidays.” 

“Oh, that’s smart. I’m just coming from a bit of a mess of a house myself,” he said. He wasn’t sure why he was telling her this. Like Remus, she seemed to have a kindness that pulled you in, made you want to open up to her.

“Aren’t these old houses the worst? Beautiful, but nightmares.” 

Sirius laughed, “yes, they are. They truly are. And I stupidly bought a house that needed renovations.”

“You’re an architect, no?”    


“I am,” Sirius said, startled that she knew.

“Remus mentioned it,” she explained, seeing the surprise on his face, “Well, you’re probably the best one to handle a renovation.” 

“I suppose I am. Still, it’s overwhelming.” 

“Indeed. When did you move in?” 

“Well, I actually don’t live there. I just bought it and… and now I live somewhere else.” 

He trailed off and the look on Hope’s face suggested she knew there was more to the story than someone just buying a house to flip it. She was kind enough not to say anything about it, though. 

“Well, I’ll let you go. I’m sorry you couldn’t join us for lunch the other day.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Sirius said.

“But maybe sometime soon, yes?”

“Maybe,” Sirius said vaguely. He ducked into his car and waved to Hope, who was trotting off with her dog. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Friday**  
**4:32pm**

The first thing Sirius noticed when he entered the meeting room to sign Harry in was Marlene’s mane of long blonde hair. She pulled him into a hug and whispered, “Drinks tonight. You can’t say no, Molly’s watching Harry.”

The second thing he noticed, upon being released, was Remus standing at the front of the classroom, surveying the children and looking entirely out of place. He was wearing jeans, a long-sleeve shirt, and an expression that plainly said he wanted to be anywhere else. Sirius gave him a little smile.

Marlene was gliding around the room, greeting parents and encouraging them to come in and take a seat or stand against the back wall. After the majority of the group had assembled, she stepped to the front of the room and cleared her throat.

“Hello, welcome, welcome. As you can see, today’s a bit different. Parents and guardians are welcome to stay for this class, which I know will make some of our more clingy parents happy,” she pointed to Sirius and shot him a smile and the rest of the adults chuckled softly. Sirius couldn’t help but notice Remus shooting Marlene a suspicious look.

“Parents and guardians: you’re not obligated to stay, but you’re welcome to help your kiddo out with a craft if you’d like. Today, we’re super lucky to have the director of our Rare Books and Special Collections with us. Dr. Remus Lupin is not only a great librarian and purveyor of fancy books, but he’s a very excellent book conservationist. Does anyone know what that means?”

The children shook their heads.

“That means he fixes books when they’re broken, and also knows neat things like how to make paper and how to make books.”

The kids look at Remus with a bit more admiration. He gave them a weak smile.

“So today, he’s going to show us how to make paper and we’re also going to make a little book!”  
She continued to talk, telling them they could use their piece of paper to write a letter to Santa, or save it for a birthday card for a friend. Remus had moved over to a table at the front of the room and was carefully laying out supplies.

There were three different stations set up around the room. One group would make paper with Remus, one group would make a little book with Molly, and another would make a book with Marlene. All of the children were sitting on their carpet squares, so Sirius assumed they would still open with a story. Harry twisted around to catch Sirius’s eyes. He smiled and waved happily. Sirius waved back and crossed his eyes for good measure.

Marlene took a seat on the floor with a large book and began reading aloud. Molly weaved her way through the crowd to Sirius.

“Do you want to stick with Harry tonight, or would you mind helping out Remus?”

“Er-”

“We were supposed to have Dorcas helping him, but then Irma called in sick so she has to sit at the desk.”

“I can help,” Sirius said faintly, “but I’m not sure he’d appreciate it. I’ll probably be more of a hindrance.”

“Nonsense,” she said, tugging him over to Remus’s table.

“Sirius has volunteered to help you,” Molly whispered brightly.

“No! I… I thought you said you needed someone to help?”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Remus said, eyes flicking between Sirius and Molly.

“Nonsense. Sirius, you sit right down here.”

Sirius shot Remus an apologetic look, and the two of them sat in silence until the story was done. Marlene got all of the kids up to sing a song and dance around before their second book.

“Um. Sorry. Molly asked me to do this.”

“It’s fine,” Remus said shortly.

He turned in his seat and finally looked at Sirius. His expression softened and Sirius wondered exactly how pathetic he must look.

“Really, it will be helpful to have another set of hands. Thanks for agreeing.”  
Sirius nodded, “So. What do I do?”

Remus passed a little set of instructions to Sirius. He ran his finger down the steps, explaining the paper making process and pointing out the buckets of pulp and what looked like a window screen stretched in a picture frame.

“This is very cool,” he said quietly. The children were settling back down onto the carpet for the next story.

Remus huffed out a laugh, “I suppose so. Maybe you’re just easily impressed.”

“Possible, but I doubt it,” he grinned.

Sirius felt himself relax.

~~~

The evening passed in a happy blur. Groups of five or six kids came to their table at a time. Remus gave demonstrations and taught beautifully. The kids watched, entranced, as his long, sure fingers dripped the little screen - a mould and deckle, apparently - into a bucket and carefully pressed the excess water away. Sirius was equally entranced by the display, but fought the impulse to stare at Remus the entire night. He had children to help.

Harry was in the third and final group. He hopped into Sirius’s lap when he came over.

“Did you know I’m going to Ron’s house after storytime?”

“I may have heard something like that, yes.”

“Ron says it’s because you have a date.”

Sirius choked on his own spit.

“I don’t have a date, Harry. I’m just going out with some friends.”

“Oh,” Harry said, now dunking his mould and deckle into the plastic bin.

“What’s a date, anyways?”

“It’s when you go out with someone you fancy.”

“Oh. And you don’t fancy your friends?”

“No. I like them in a different way.”

Sirius could see Remus stifling a smiling out of the corner of his eye.

“Oh shush,” he hissed with a smile at Remus, after Harry hopped down to blot the excess water with Remus.

“I said nothing," he said with a conciliatory smile, "so is Marlene dragging you out or do you have some far more interesting friends to hang out with?”

“Oh no, it’s all Marlene. Are you coming as well?”

“I think so, for a bit anyways. Okay, Harry,” Remus said, crouching down to help Harry pick up his paper, “You can lay that over here to dry now.”

Harry followed Remus over to the counter, where he was helping the children slide their paper onto little wooden boards to dry. Sirius helped the next child somewhat absentmindedly, busy sneaking glances at Remus and Harry.

Harry was standing on a step stool, very carefully tipping his squeezed-out paper onto the board. Remus was guiding his hands, smiling down at him. Sirius felt his heart clench and had to look away. It was far too easy to imagine them not as a librarian and a child in storytime, but as a little family that Sirius could come home to every day.

~~~

Sirius dropped Harry off at Molly and Arthur’s house before heading to the bar; it was easier just to drive Harry over than try to wrangle another booster seat into Molly’s car. Harry had somehow convinced Sirius that a sleepover would be a good idea, and Sirius had agreed, caving at Molly’s soothing reassurance that Harry would be fine in Ron’s borrowed pyjamas and spare toothbrush. Driving away from the Weasley home, leaving Harry for the first time in nearly five years, he was feeling much less sure of his decision.

When he arrived at the bar, it looked as though the rest were already a few drinks in. He saw Dorcas first, carrying three beers back from the bar to a group of tall tables in the corner. She gave a jerk of her head, indicating that he should follow. There were a dozen or so people standing around, drinking and laughing.

Dorcas dropped the beers on the table. Remus took one and nodded hello to Sirius.

“Look what I found!” Dorcas said loudly.

“Hey,” Sirius said, nodding at everyone, “Holy shit. Pete!?”

“Oi! I knew it! I knew it’d be you!”

Peter Pettigrew, an old friend of his and James from school, reached across the table to clasp his hand in a firm shake.

“Somebody said ‘Sirius’ and I figured it couldn’t be anyone else. Frank and Alice should be here soon.”

“Oh great. I saw them a little while ago, actually,” he forced thoughts of the gala out of his head, “But how’ve you been?”

The group shuffled about naturally, and Sirius ended up between Remus and Peter. Remus was soon pulled away to talk to Dorcas and another colleague from the library that Sirius didn’t recognize. He and Peter chatted for a while before Marlene interrupted all of them, and tried to pull everyone to the dance floor.

Peter, several beers deep by this point, joined in, dancing with the librarian Sirius hadn’t recognized. They were dancing animatedly, and the crowd was giving them a wide berth so as to avoid being struck by an errant limb flying through the air. Marlene and Dorcas were dancing happily together, laughing at Pete. Alice and Frank looked down-right professional. Remus wasn’t around. Sirius made an excuse and shied away from the dance floor.

He pulled out his phone to check the time, and to see if Molly had called about Harry. It was still fairly early and there were no missed calls or texts. He tried to shut his Parent Brain down, but it was no use. He stepped outside and called the Weasley’s landline.

The bar had a large patio, fenced in by a low brick wall. It was cold out,so it was mostly deserted, save a few smokers and - Sirius’s heart gave a little jolt - Remus. He was sitting on the brick wall near one of the outdoor heaters, idly swilling beer around his glass while he spoke to someone on the phone.

He wandered near him, staying close to the wall of the building, on the other side of the heater.

“Hi, Molly.”

“Hello, Sirius. Calling to check on Harry?”

“Er, yes,” he said guiltily.

“He’s great. We’re just doing dinner now. Did you want to talk to him?”

Sirius could hear laughing in the background.

“No,” Sirius sighed, “I don’t want to pull him away. God knows you’ll never get him back to vegetables if he gets distracted. Aright, well, maybe I’ll call him again before bed.”

“How about this,” Molly offered, “I’ll have him call you before bed?”

“That would be great. Thank you so much.”

“First sleepover, hm?”

“Yes,” he breathed, laughing, “that obvious?”

“It always is. But I’ve taken good care of many children over the years, so rest assured that he’s safe with me.”

“You’re too good to me, Molly. Goodnight for now.”

He pressed end on the call and leaned back against the side of the building. Remus also seemed to be finishing up a phone call.

“...okay. Bye, mum. Uh huh. Yes. Okay. Okay… okay. Bye.”

Sirius shot Remus a smile. He returned it, maybe a bit reluctantly.

“You know, I saw your mother the other day, actually.”

Remus gave him a startled look.

“What? Where?”

“On Elm Street? I was over there for an... appointment. She was telling me about her house, and said she was staying with you for the holidays. That’s nice.”

“Yeah, it’s… it is nice,” he smiled ruefully, “it’d be nicer if I didn’t have such a tiny flat, but you know. Still nice to see them.”

“Your dad and their dog are there as well, then?”

“Well, the dog’s mine, but yes. It’s a full house, as it were.”

“The dog is yours? You never mentioned having a dog!”

“Didn’t I?”

“No. I’d surely have remembered.”

“Oh well. I have a dog. Maggie. She’s a bit of a nightmare, and she’s becoming more spoiled than ever with my parents around all day.”

Sirius grinned and took a drink of his beer. Remus did the same. Their conversation flowed easily for a few more minutes, Remus telling him about his mother’s frantic phone call. Apparently both of his parents had forgotten how to turn on his television. Both Remus and Sirius seemed to have forgotten, for a brief moment, that they had been behaving awkwardly around one another.

Remus was the first to remember, it seemed. He finished his drink and broke eye contact with Sirius.

“So. Erm,” he got up from the wall and took a step towards Sirius.

For a second, Sirius’s heart stood still.

“So, I’m just going to…” he motioned past Sirius, towards the door behind him.

“Oh. Right,” Sirius stepped to the side to let Remus pass.

Remus took a few more steps before Sirius made up his mind to stop him.

“Hey, listen. Can we talk?”

Remus stiffened, but he turned back towards Sirius.

“It just… it seemed like there was something between us, and then… Well. Honestly, I love having you as a friend. So, no matter what happened between us, I’d like it if we could still be on friendly terms. So I think it might be good if we, you know, hashed this out.”

He motioned at the space between them. Remus looked at him for a few seconds before blinking and turning abruptly back towards the door.

“I need another drink, I think. Do you want one?”

“Um, sure?”

“What are you having?”

“Just… whatever you have is fine.”

Remus nodded and walked inside. Sirius stared out at the parking lot, wondering what on earth he planned to say when Remus came back. _If_ Remus came back.

Eventually he did.

“So,” Sirius said awkwardly.

“So,” Remus countered calmly.

Sirius fixed him with a perplexed gaze.

“So, just...cards on the table I guess. I haven’t dated anyone in like five years, and I could be completely crazy, but I thought there was something between us. And feel free to tell him to fuck off and that I was totally reading into things, but I sort of thought you were interested in me too.”

“And then I mentioned that Molly was trying to set us up and it felt like you definitely didn’t like _that_ idea, and everything has been sort of shit since I mentioned that. It’s been so weird, then I met your mom - twice now - and she’s super nice, but it felt a bit like I was torturing you that day at the park when I said we’d go to lunch with you and-”

“Sirius.”

“And I don’t want-”

“Sirius.”

“... don’t want that,” Sirius finished lamely.

“Sirius, it’s…” Remus looked supremely uncomfortable. He fidgeted with the sleeves of his jacket and took a long drink of his beer.

“I don't think you were imagining anything. It felt… I thought there was something between us as well.”

“You thought? You don’t anymore?”

“Well. I… I think it might be a bit too complicated for me.”

“What would be too complicated for you?” Sirius asked, heart sinking. He knew, though. A child would be too complicated, of course.

“Just. Everything with you and Harry and your... ex-partner, or whatever.” Remus muttered, “I don’t want to get in the middle of that. You seem torn about-”

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

“The… the night of the gala,” Remus began, looking uncertain, “you fought with your ex-partner, didn’t you? You said you wanted to patch things up with him, but-”

“That wasn’t my partner,” Sirius said quickly, “that was my brother.”

“Your…?” Remus said. He stared at the air beyond Sirius’s shoulder, rapt in thought, as though he was trying to work this new piece of information into what little he knew of the situation.

“Oh.”  
“Yeah,” Sirius said, nodding emphatically. He tried to think back on his interaction with Regulus, tried to remember what he said and what Remus may have overheard. It was all a blur.

“Sorry, I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about. I guess I do remember him saying something about wanting to be back in my life.”

“Er. Yes. And he mentioned wanting to see Harry, too. So I just assumed…” he swallowed a gulp of beer, fiddling with his sleeve again.

“And then I mentioned something to Dorcas, when I went back inside. Something like,” he flushed, “like how I was confused because you seemed interested but then you said you wanted to ‘patch things up’ with, er, well with your brother, I guess. But I thought it was your ex, and I said as much to Dorcas. One of your cousins overheard and said-”

Sirius groaned. Remus looked at him sympathetically.

“I’m now guessing they may have lied to me?”

Sirius snorted, “I’m almost certain they did. What did they say?”

“Well that asked me a ton of questions about you, asking how I knew you, if we were friends, if you were the donor - I didn’t tell them anything, obviously - and then they said you and your ex were in the middle of a big custody battle over Harry, but you were still really hung up on him, and that he was trying to shape up to get back in your life…”

Sirius groaned again. He stepped back a few feet and sank into a chair across from a little metal table. Remus joined him, lowering himself into a second chair across from Sirius. He had a little smile on his face now.

“Then they kept going on about how happy you were together, and how gorgeous he was and how much Harry loved him.”

Remus trailed off, looking like he might be holding back a laugh. Sirius’s groans increased in volume.

“You didn’t get a good look at him, did you? At the gala?”

“No, he was already pretty far down the stairs by then.”

“Well. We look alike. You’d probably have been able to guess we were brothers. My fucking cousins just manipulated you to make me miserable, I’m sure. Or to make you miserable. I’m fairly sure they don’t eat human food, just exist on misery and spite."

“Hm. Well. I feel pretty stupid,” Remus said.

Sirius picked his head up and stared hard at Remus.

“You shouldn’t. They’re monsters.”

“Yes, that was apparent pretty quickly. And then Minerva pulled me aside to talk about them later. She said she’s had to work with them in the past and… well. You know them better than me. I don’t want to say anything out of turn.”

Sirius buried his head in his arms, which were folded on the table in front of him.

“Ugh. You can say anything you want, I hate those bastards.”

“I’m sorry. I should have asked you about it directly, but…” he made a little indecisive noise.

Sirius picked his head up.

“But what?”

“I dunno,” Remus flushed, “I could hardly compare to some gorgeous millionaire you’re already in love with who happens to be the other father of your child, could I?”

Sirius stared at him for a long time, chin resting on his forearms.

“You’d beat him any day.”

Remus laughed and went even more pink.

“Your brother or your fictional ex?”

“Both. Certainly my brother,” Sirius said, wrinkling his nose.

Remus laughed.

“So, er. This is awkward to ask but…”

“Hm?” Sirius arched an eyebrow and prompted Remus to continue.

“Well. I know the whole too-good-to-be-true partner thing isn’t true, but um… what _is_ the story?”

“What story?”

Remus shifted awkwardly in his seat.

“Well, your ex. Whoever you had Harry with. His mother? An ex-boyfriend?” Remus prompted.

“Oh!”

Remus didn’t know. How could Remus not know? Sirius wracked his brain, thinking of their past conversations. Had Sirius never mentioned Harry’s surname? Never said godson instead of ‘son’ or ‘Harry?’ He’d never mentioned James and Lily’s deaths, that much he was sure of, but had it truly never come up?

“Oh…?”

“Sorry. God, I just didn’t realize you didn’t know. But how could you? I mean, I never told you,” Sirius stopped rambling and sighed, “Harry’s my godson.”

“Oh. But he…”

“Calls me dad,” Sirius said heavily, “yeah I know. I mean, I have him full-time and everything. My best friend and his wife died when he was about eight months old, so I’ve had him since then.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

Remus fixed him with a look that was one part pity and one part curiosity.

“And has it just been the two of you for, what… five years?”

“About that, yeah.”

“You haven’t dated at all?”

“Nope.”

“Huh,” Remus fixed him with a strange look for a moment, but then shook his head slightly and looked away. He drained his beer.

“What?” Sirius said.

“Nothing,” Remus said mildly.

Sirius peered at him shrewdly, a little grin growing on his face, “Uh huh. You can’t just say ‘nothing’ like that. What?”

“No, it’s just,” he colored and looked over the little brick wall enclosing the patio, “you’re just so bloody attractive,” he muttered finally.

Sirius laughed, delighted.

“Oh, you think so, hm?”

“Oh, shut up. You know you’re good-looking.”

“Not nearly as good looking as you, though.”

Remus snorted and fiddled with his empty cup.

“Do you want another?”

“I’m okay,” Sirius said, his own beer was still half-full.

Remus considered him.

“Do you want to, you know, leave? With me, I mean,” he clarified quickly.

Sirius looked up at Remus in alarm.

“Not like, ‘let's get out of here,’ leave. Just, go get dinner or something.”

“Oh. Yes,” he nodded, face breaking into a smile.

Remus gave him a little smile as well, rolling his eyes a bit.

“Great. You finished?”

Sirius nodded and Remus took his beer.

“I’ll get rid of these and you tell Marlene or Dorcas that we’re off, yeah? Meet you at the front in a bit?”

Sirius nodded, then practically sprinted back through the bar, making his way to the back and searching frantically for Marlene. He found her and Dorcas in a booth, hands laced together and talking to one another in low voices.

“Hey!”

“Hey yourself. What’s up? You look weird.”

“Cheers,” Sirius said sarcastically, “I’m leaving. Er, we’re leaving. Remus and I.”

Marlene let out a loud shriek and Dorcas grabbed her shoulder, shushing her.

“Oh my god. Yes. This is perfect. This is what we intended. What happened? Tell me how-”

“Why doesn’t he go on their first date first,” Dorcas said patiently, moving one of the full shot glasses further away from Marlene’s hand, “and then he can tell us about it, Marls?”

“Right, right, right,” she snapped her fingers.

“Take this though…” she started rifling through her purse, “Wait. No. I have nothing. Perils of dating a lady.”

Sirius stared at her.

“Condoms,” Dorcas whispered to him.

“Oh my god. We’re just getting dinner. Get your mind out of the gutter. I can’t believe I allow you to teach my child things.”

Marlene cackled as Dorcas rolled her eyes.

“Have fun,” Dorcas said in a singsong, turning back to Marlene.

“I will. I think. I’m so nervous though. What if this isn’t a date after all?”

“Oh my god, I’m going to literally throw up if you two drag this out any longer. Go. Snog. My. Boss,” she said, punctuating each word with a little shove.

“Fine. I’m holding it against you if I misinterpreted this though.”

“Go!” both women shouted at him.

Remus was waiting patiently by the front door, wrapped up his long coat and a scarf. He looked lovely.

“Ready?”

“Yes,” Sirius said breathlessly.

“I think we’ll have to walk somewhere for food,” Remus said, “I don’t know how much you’ve had to drink. I haven’t had much but, still.”

“Yeah, not risking it,” Sirius said.

They pushed their way out of the bar and into the cold night. They crossed the parking lot, looking at the long high street, the shop lights dazzlingly bright against the dark, snowy sky.

“Er. This is a date, right?”

Sirius turned just in time to see a smile break out over Remus’s face. He reached a gloved hand out to Sirius and laced their fingers together.

“Yes, Sirius. This is a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So - tentatively "finishing" this fic here because it feels like a natural stopping point. But I have plans for a part 2, which would include more exploration of Hope and Lyall, the Elm Street house, Regulus, and of course some Remus and Harry interactions. Let me know what, if anything, you'd like to see :) :) :)

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk Marauders with me on tumblr @ smodernlife


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